Is the Shame of Failure Holding You Back?

My epic failure happened at Law School in 2006. It was a humiliating, fall flat on my face, embarrassing and life altering event that easily falls into the category of failure.

I have also referred to it as a blessing, a privilege, the catalyst for change that catapulted me into a new profession - one that I grow more grateful for each day. 

It is one of those things that is defined by perspective. Not everyone will see it the way that I do. 

There is truth is the quote by Dorothy Herman "If you're fearful of failure, you'll never succeed." But I would even take that quote a step further. There are many people out there who have failed miserably and allowed that failure to stop them dead in their tracks.

I believe that "If you fail to mine for the gold in failure, you'll never be successful." Failure is the ultimate "School of Hard Knocks". It's a privilege to have been given the opportunity to learn from this perspective. The lessons learned there aren't available in any theory. It's about as custom as custom training gets.

I believe as a result of my event that the harder the knock the higher the potential for learning. The risk inherent in failure is in allowing the event to stop you dead in your tracks - failure does not have to be the end of the road but failing to learn will put you at risk of just that.

Do you have something that you're stewing over - a failure that brings you shame? Have you failed to process this lesson? The time is now - don't let it hold you back one second longer.

If you are afraid to failure, you will never succeed.

Lessons We Learned When We Were Young - Women, Money and Unlearning

This morning I set out to write about "money mindset" considering that we're one week away from our Book Club. We're going to be studying Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich" again. It's one of those books that I consider a staple. 

Even when I know what I am going to write about, I always like to do a bit of reading before I sit down to write - this helps me to get focused and usually inspired. That is exactly what happened this morning as I chose to read a couple of short articles from  Sibyl Magazine - an online publication that is written "for the spirit and soul of woman".  Every time I read the tagline, I feel the love. 

I'm grateful for the beautiful Kathy Eckhardt and her gift that keeps on giving. Kathy is not only a contributing author but she also gave me a subscription a while back. I cherish these wonderful nuggets of wisdom for women. 

When we set out to understand our money mindset, which is what we do when we study Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich", we are often getting geared up to challenge our own assumptions. We are going to put our well ingrained beliefs under a microscope. The first time we encounter this information, we may feel a little uncomfortable - I know I did. 

The people who shaped our young minds did the best that they could with the knowledge that they had at the time. When those lessons are no longer serving us well in life, it may be time to let them go.  Letting them go is a process not the flick of a switch. That's why I read this book over and over - there's always something new to learn today. 

In Kathy's article this morning, she speaks about women being "people pleasers".  How many of you can look back at the women in your life and identify one or two who may fall into this category? I know that I can and I can also remember a time when I would have described myself as one. I'd even go so far as to say that I still have times when I need to push against this desire to please. This has happened from time to time when I speak with someone about making money. Not everyone feels comfortable speaking about revenue for example. 

Want to know a secret? I am getting over this last one - I like making money in my business and sharing how to do that with other people and I make no excuse for enjoying that. 

As dedicated lifelong learners, we spend a tremendous amount of time unlearning that early conditioning and finding our own way through life. Nowhere is this more evident than with our beliefs around money. 

"Money doesn't grow on trees."

"Do you think I'm made of money?"

or 

What about that cringe you feel when you have to put a price on your product or service that makes you uncomfortable? This is evidence of money conditioning at its finest.

I'm reminded that it wasn't that long ago when I had my own struggles with making money. It showed up in many ways. First of all, I didn't have any. I was judgemental and envious of others who had more than I did. I'd even go so far as to say that I would make assumptions about their character based on how much money they had. Does this resonate at all? I'm not proud of this but neither do I beat myself up over it. 

Thank goodness when we know better, we do better. Thank goodness we align ourselves with other people who are on a learning journey and as imperfect as we are. 

Money isn't good or bad on it's own. Money in the right hands can do wonderful things in the world. More on that topic in the program - but you get what I'm saying about  this "unlearning" that we must take part in. 

I teach people to make money - their subconscious beliefs can really keep them from being successful. It's as important to talk about this as it is to have a business plan. I'd love to hear your money story or any story where you had to unlearn something that didn't serve you well. 

Join us next week as we learn more about this topic.