PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DUDE
Joanie calls me one day and she says, "Debbie, I need your help. I'm having problems with this guy at work and I don't know what I did to make him hate me. He used to really like me and yesterday we had a Safety Meeting and he didn't even pass the word on to me. I looked stupid when my boss asked me why I wasn't there. When I asked Jack why he never told me he mumbled that he wasn't my supervisor. I can't handle this drama - what do I do?"
Well, of course I can help you out sista - you've got a classic case of jealousy on your hands.
I love my job - coaching women through those days at work when everything seems to be going wrong. It's tough enough to have chosen a profession that is hard on the body but when it is hard on the mind, it gets tough to handle. After all we usually have to go home to a family who wants us to care for them - we don't have time for this childishness at work. Being a woman in trades can be challenging but there are little tools to add to your tool box.
You're wondering what I told her?
Well, for starters, we always acknowledge that we can't change other people - we can only change our reaction. If they ain't lovin' they're fearin' is what I like to say.
Then we take a walk in the other person's shoes for a minute. When Joanie came onsite, Jack was very nice to her. Jack was known for being helpful and he had a reputation for being the go-to guy. But Joanie was getting quite confident in her work lately and recently a couple of the guys had gone to her for advice on a particular technical problem they were having.
Jack observed all of this. Joanie was taking away his job - she was becoming the go-to gal. Jack was feeling the rub.
Are you having an 'ah ha' moment right about now? I wonder what Joanie will do with this information? Will knowing this change anything? What would you do?
Oh the life of a coach is very, very interesting - especially when people say "ah ha - hadn't thought of that."
In Sisterhood - Deb
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