Socialization - according to dictionary.com is
a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.
I want to look a little closer at this definition in the context of women in trades. Let's start with the term "continuing process" - this could be an upbringing for example or the training that a soldier goes through to learn what is expected of them. Norms are the things that people normally do.
Let's look at this definition in terms of lived reality.....
My own upbringing (continuing process) in rural Newfoundland shaped who I was by the time I joined the army at age 17 to become a mechanic. By watching the adults around me, I learned that men worked outside the home, normally in construction and the women looked after the children, cleaned the house, did the homework, cared for the elderly and were never allowed to have the remote. OK, we didn't have a remote but you get the drift. That was my socialization process as a young child.
I experienced a new socialization process at age 17 when I joined the army to become a mechanic. In this new role (identity), I became a soldier and a non-traditional woman. Things were a whole lot different than they were back home. I don't think anyone ever said - she needs a new socialization but we were subjected to training that would see us adopt the identity of soldier.
I moved far away from home and stayed there for the next 10 years - it was a real eye opener for me to meet women whose upbringing had been totally different than mine. It was my first real notion that we were not all alike and our roles as women was different depending upon where we grew up and what your social status was. I met many women who were a lot more empowered than I was even though at the time I didn't have the language to understand what I was experiencing - that came later.
In the military, women fell into two camps - there were the people who came from the more rural areas who were known for their hard work and dedication. We rarely were outspoken or assertive. Then there were the women who were real outspoken - we referred to them as complainers and now that I'm an empowered woman - I respectfully correct that and call them great role models. They made a positive impact on me although at the time I didn't have the language to describe what I was experiencing.
Whenever there is a recruitment drive for non-traditional work or military service and unskilled labour, the target area is the poor. It makes sense to recruit from there because they need jobs and they're more than willing to put up with adverse work conditions. We see it replicated everywhere.
Labour shortage is a word that is heard often these days and that's a signal that more disadvantaged people will be mobilized into these positions. I have yet to see an equity program that includes women in a discussion about her socialization process. Those who design programs for women in trades often focus on nutrition, upper body strength and maybe exposure to the trades. But they fail to give women what they really need - a chance to reflect upon where they came from and where they are going.
I often tell people that if they were going to climb Mt. Everest, they would train and acclimtize for that environment - the same can be said for women entering the trades - there are norms here that we are not familiar with - learn what they are. Learn the norms that we've already bought into. Be courageous enough to challenge our own assumptions so that at the end of the day we can be tradeswomen and not just women in trades.
Back in my day we heard the men complain "Why do you get paid the same as I do but I have to tell you what to do?" This phrase speaks volumes about socialization. If a woman expects to get paid the same as a man gets paid, it's important that she be made aware of the expectation that she step up her game.
There's also another clear danger for women in trades brought on by lack of preparation - getting stuck in work that is traditionally women's work in the home. In the mechanic trade, that might mean doing service work - oil changes and preventive maintenance as opposed to the more choice work of diagnostics and percission rebuild. It happens all the time. It is done in a sneaky fashion also to make it look like they are doing you a favour by giving you the lighter work. Awareness goes a long way.
The remedy lies in new training - learning new ways of doing things.
Socialization is not a one time process - you can reinvent yourself at any point - it's a "continuing process" meaning that it is never completed - keep that in mind as you begin your new journey.
11 July 2011
5 July 2011
Women's Worlds
You know that little voice in your head that pops up at the oddest times and decides to have a bit of a conversation with you. Well, mine dropped by today - while I was sitting on a panel at the Women's Worlds 2011 Conference listening to a fellow panelist. Out of the blue, this little voice said...
"Pssst, hey Debs....how the heck did we end up here?" Yes, the cheeky little chatterbox has the audacity to call me Debs. But we're kind of close so I allow it.
HOW DID I GET HERE????? Yikes!!!
I am part of a panel of three women.
Dr. Hei-Hui You from a university in Taiwan.
Gendered Learning in Departments of Physical Education
Dr. Maria Teresa M Rubio from Guam,
Five Women Leaders and Their Perceptions of Empowerment
and.....
yep....me.
The power of the narrative - I outlined my own journey in education as first an apprentice and then through university to finally land in a place where I am helping other women succeed in the non-traditional sector. I spoke about what I know - overcoming obstacles to get where we really want to be and I did it the only way I know how - with heart and Newfoundland humour. I have no desire to be all polished and proper as a speaker - I like to engage people to challenge their own assumptions and to get out of their own way to achieve what they want. In my experience, this type of work requires that you take off the gloves - the kid gloves I mean.
Work in the trades is very rewarding and in case you haven't heard, you can make a decent chunk of change there, but let's face it - we're not exactly always welcome. The gentle approach doesn't work all the time. Sometimes we have to spice it up. When I was at law school, I learned the term "The iron hand in the velvet glove" - I like this phrase a lot..that's what women are good at - delivering a powerful message with the gentleness of velvet - ok, so maybe you're not great at it yet, but you can be...right???? right??? Oh, ya...............
It was a great day - lots of knowledge, lots of fellowship and appreciation for one another's work. What a wonderful opportunity we have here - I'm honoured...yes, I am.
It's a moment in time that I'll cherish forever.
"Pssst, hey Debs....how the heck did we end up here?" Yes, the cheeky little chatterbox has the audacity to call me Debs. But we're kind of close so I allow it.
HOW DID I GET HERE????? Yikes!!!
I am part of a panel of three women.
Dr. Hei-Hui You from a university in Taiwan.
Gendered Learning in Departments of Physical Education
Dr. Maria Teresa M Rubio from Guam,
Five Women Leaders and Their Perceptions of Empowerment
and.....
yep....me.
The power of the narrative - I outlined my own journey in education as first an apprentice and then through university to finally land in a place where I am helping other women succeed in the non-traditional sector. I spoke about what I know - overcoming obstacles to get where we really want to be and I did it the only way I know how - with heart and Newfoundland humour. I have no desire to be all polished and proper as a speaker - I like to engage people to challenge their own assumptions and to get out of their own way to achieve what they want. In my experience, this type of work requires that you take off the gloves - the kid gloves I mean.
Work in the trades is very rewarding and in case you haven't heard, you can make a decent chunk of change there, but let's face it - we're not exactly always welcome. The gentle approach doesn't work all the time. Sometimes we have to spice it up. When I was at law school, I learned the term "The iron hand in the velvet glove" - I like this phrase a lot..that's what women are good at - delivering a powerful message with the gentleness of velvet - ok, so maybe you're not great at it yet, but you can be...right???? right??? Oh, ya...............
It was a great day - lots of knowledge, lots of fellowship and appreciation for one another's work. What a wonderful opportunity we have here - I'm honoured...yes, I am.
It's a moment in time that I'll cherish forever.
23 June 2011
Getting Fit - 50 x 50
I’m not a person that others would describe as “into fitness”. Actually, the contrary is true – I have not factored fitness into my schedule up to this point. I am a lady about town who does not own a car so I walk quite a bit more than the average person. This has invited comments of “I don’t know how you can have weight on – you walk all the time”. Maybe my nephew can answer this question – I know that there is a reason that makes sense but I’m not quite ready to teach fitness yet. Lol
My first step was to set a goal and I think that it is a realistic goal. I will turn 50 in two years and thought that a goal of 50 x 50 would work for me. It works out to ½ lbs a week and that is manageable and realistic for most people. If you’re 48, maybe you will join me in this journey. Come on now - consider it.
It was timely because my annual physical was due. The universe is kind to me – in spite of my weight – I am blessed with fabulous cholesterol levels, blood sugars and all of the other indicators of good health. My weight and in particular the fact that I gain belly fat, puts me in the risk category for diseases such as adult onset diabetes – Type 2. I consider myself blessed because I don’t have it yet. I do have low iron and will have that monitored over the next three months. There are many reasons why this might be possible. Diet being one of course. So with the nod from the doctor, I move on to the next step….
I really needed an exercise program that I would actually commit to. There are things that I love to do and when I begin them, I can’t put them down – I won’t list them here - exercise does not yet make it onto my list of favourite things to do. Signing up for Survivor or Boot Camp was not a way for me to “ease in” to fitness. On my own, I started implementing small things into my daily routine like climbing the stairs in my apartment building instead of taking the elevator and I started watching programs on cooking for better health. These were OK but I felt that I might enjoy a more structured routine so I went in search of a fitness program.
I know me better than anyone knows me - it had to be pretty simple and easily accessible. I knew that if I had to travel 30 more minutes on the bus to get there, it was not going to happen. Taking the bus all week long meant that I did not want to have to add more bus time because frankly it’s painful to bus in the summer.
The Universe was watching out for me – it’s becoming a trend. There’s a Goodlife Fitness in my community. It’s not one of the bigger gyms but it has everything that I could possibly need as a beginner. I joined and this week, I have gone 4 times. I think that it is a commitment that I can keep. I tried the Zumba, the Step class, the free weights on my own. I really enjoyed the group work even though coordination is a bit of a challenge. I won’t do steps again because I have trouble with depth perception and was not as graceful as I would have liked to be. It’s not easy being visually impaired and coordinated in this setting but people are very helpful. In my first class, Karen made sure that I had a spot where I could get a great vantage point.
On Saturday I will have my personal meeting with someone who will help me design a plan and check my progress on a regular basis. I know that my resting pulse is 88 which is not good. I’m glad that I know how to measure it now. I am looking forward to seeing what my measurements and weight are (yikes). I have a ball park figure in mind but putting the reality in your face is essential to success. I’ve succeeded in other areas and appreciate the benefit of honesty.
I will post weekly – good or bad – and invite you to return and post your own comments. It is my hope that those other ladies who are approaching 50 will join me in this journey – post your own remarks and share your successes and concerns.
My first step was to set a goal and I think that it is a realistic goal. I will turn 50 in two years and thought that a goal of 50 x 50 would work for me. It works out to ½ lbs a week and that is manageable and realistic for most people. If you’re 48, maybe you will join me in this journey. Come on now - consider it.
It was timely because my annual physical was due. The universe is kind to me – in spite of my weight – I am blessed with fabulous cholesterol levels, blood sugars and all of the other indicators of good health. My weight and in particular the fact that I gain belly fat, puts me in the risk category for diseases such as adult onset diabetes – Type 2. I consider myself blessed because I don’t have it yet. I do have low iron and will have that monitored over the next three months. There are many reasons why this might be possible. Diet being one of course. So with the nod from the doctor, I move on to the next step….
I really needed an exercise program that I would actually commit to. There are things that I love to do and when I begin them, I can’t put them down – I won’t list them here - exercise does not yet make it onto my list of favourite things to do. Signing up for Survivor or Boot Camp was not a way for me to “ease in” to fitness. On my own, I started implementing small things into my daily routine like climbing the stairs in my apartment building instead of taking the elevator and I started watching programs on cooking for better health. These were OK but I felt that I might enjoy a more structured routine so I went in search of a fitness program.
I know me better than anyone knows me - it had to be pretty simple and easily accessible. I knew that if I had to travel 30 more minutes on the bus to get there, it was not going to happen. Taking the bus all week long meant that I did not want to have to add more bus time because frankly it’s painful to bus in the summer.
The Universe was watching out for me – it’s becoming a trend. There’s a Goodlife Fitness in my community. It’s not one of the bigger gyms but it has everything that I could possibly need as a beginner. I joined and this week, I have gone 4 times. I think that it is a commitment that I can keep. I tried the Zumba, the Step class, the free weights on my own. I really enjoyed the group work even though coordination is a bit of a challenge. I won’t do steps again because I have trouble with depth perception and was not as graceful as I would have liked to be. It’s not easy being visually impaired and coordinated in this setting but people are very helpful. In my first class, Karen made sure that I had a spot where I could get a great vantage point.
On Saturday I will have my personal meeting with someone who will help me design a plan and check my progress on a regular basis. I know that my resting pulse is 88 which is not good. I’m glad that I know how to measure it now. I am looking forward to seeing what my measurements and weight are (yikes). I have a ball park figure in mind but putting the reality in your face is essential to success. I’ve succeeded in other areas and appreciate the benefit of honesty.
I will post weekly – good or bad – and invite you to return and post your own comments. It is my hope that those other ladies who are approaching 50 will join me in this journey – post your own remarks and share your successes and concerns.
19 June 2011
Gender Continuum
My first year of university was a real eye opener for me. I learned so many new terms and I kept my dictionary handy as I was continually encountering new terminology. One term that particularly intrigued me was “observational learning”.
Observational learning refers to how we have the ability to learn by observing other people. The obvious example for how it works is by looking at what happens during discipline. If a child watches a sibling be disciplined for something that the other child did wrong, the child that is watching learns to behave. The observing child does not have to break the rule – he/she learned by watching the other child. This is observational learning.
Some may say that this is a good thing – there’s an old saying “Learn from my mistakes – I’ve made enough of them.” This phrase captures how observational learning works. Observational learning can be very good but it also has a shadow side.
If children are always learning from what they observe, we know as adults that sometimes what they are learning are not great lessons. There area often times when what children observe is unhealthy behaviour in adults. A very good example is with children who grow up in homes where alcoholism is prevalent. If one parent is an alcoholic, the other parent can often be co-dependant and the child will then observe dysfunction. Emotional unavailability and keeping the peach becomes the model for healthy relationships. This is important to know because the type of relationship dynamic that the child learns growing up is the one that they will thing is “normal”.
Another example is when they watch people show their feelings. If a child grows up in a home where they observed adults communicate in anger, then that becomes their “normal”. They have not observed differently. There are many examples. Children can grow up in homes where parents are loving, open and kind and where conflict is resolved in a mature fashion and the child learns from this.
As parents, we need to be aware of how observational learning works and to be aware that we have a role to play in ensuring that our children are protected. We need to be courageous enough to ask ourselves “What are my children learning from my behaviour?” Do we need a little intervention. We were all observational learners as young children. What did I learn that may not seem right now?
As parents, we need to realize that we are role models and teachers for our children. Everything we do is scrutinized and repeated. Children need good role models because they do not have the capacity to judge whether what they are watching is good or bad, they need adults to help them make that determination. You never know who is watching!!!!
Observational learning refers to how we have the ability to learn by observing other people. The obvious example for how it works is by looking at what happens during discipline. If a child watches a sibling be disciplined for something that the other child did wrong, the child that is watching learns to behave. The observing child does not have to break the rule – he/she learned by watching the other child. This is observational learning.
Some may say that this is a good thing – there’s an old saying “Learn from my mistakes – I’ve made enough of them.” This phrase captures how observational learning works. Observational learning can be very good but it also has a shadow side.
If children are always learning from what they observe, we know as adults that sometimes what they are learning are not great lessons. There area often times when what children observe is unhealthy behaviour in adults. A very good example is with children who grow up in homes where alcoholism is prevalent. If one parent is an alcoholic, the other parent can often be co-dependant and the child will then observe dysfunction. Emotional unavailability and keeping the peach becomes the model for healthy relationships. This is important to know because the type of relationship dynamic that the child learns growing up is the one that they will thing is “normal”.
Another example is when they watch people show their feelings. If a child grows up in a home where they observed adults communicate in anger, then that becomes their “normal”. They have not observed differently. There are many examples. Children can grow up in homes where parents are loving, open and kind and where conflict is resolved in a mature fashion and the child learns from this.
As parents, we need to be aware of how observational learning works and to be aware that we have a role to play in ensuring that our children are protected. We need to be courageous enough to ask ourselves “What are my children learning from my behaviour?” Do we need a little intervention. We were all observational learners as young children. What did I learn that may not seem right now?
As parents, we need to realize that we are role models and teachers for our children. Everything we do is scrutinized and repeated. Children need good role models because they do not have the capacity to judge whether what they are watching is good or bad, they need adults to help them make that determination. You never know who is watching!!!!
17 June 2011
Eeyore and Tigger
Life is a series of ups and downs – no one stays in the same place forever. It’s been that way for me and for most of the people around me. We don’t have much control over what happens to us – but we do have control over how we respond.
There has been a lot written and said about the Law of Attraction in recent years. We are taught that in order to achieve a better life, we need to focus on where we want to go as opposed to focusing on where we are at present. When I think of this requirement, I’m immediately reminded of my favourite show as a child Winnie the Pooh. Eeyore and Tigger were two characters that I feel clearly demonstrated the law.
Eeyore always had his head hung down and was forever focused on the negative in life and anyone who spent too much time around him would surely come away feeling a little deflated and uninspired. Tigger, on the other hand, bounced through life, filled with optimism and even as I think about him bouncing around the set, I feel my spirits lifting.
Are you an Eeyore or a Tigger – I’ve been both at different times in my life and I’ve learned a few lessons along the way. First of all, for most of us, we have a choice as to which one we’re going to be. I respect that there are people who have legitimate illnesses which prevent them from controlling their thoughts. For the majority of us, we have the ability to choose at any given moment to act like Eeyore or to act like Tigger.
I have also learned that these states are contagious and when we are around Eeyores or Tiggers, their conditions rub off on us. So we must then choose carefully who we come in contact with – if we want to remain positive it is wise to surround ourselves with people who will allow us to be optimistic.
When I am able, I choose to be Tigger because we attract that which we focus on. If we are positive and uplifting, we attract that into our lives. The reverse is also true, when we are not positive, we will attract the same to us. I don’t need a professional to tell me that this is true – I have tested the theory myself. When I am Eeyore, my life is more miserable. When I am Tigger – even the dullest day looks brighter. Others around me are also impacted by my mood – so I do the math – and choose, when I can, to be Tiggerlike.
Are you a Tigger or an Eeyore?
There has been a lot written and said about the Law of Attraction in recent years. We are taught that in order to achieve a better life, we need to focus on where we want to go as opposed to focusing on where we are at present. When I think of this requirement, I’m immediately reminded of my favourite show as a child Winnie the Pooh. Eeyore and Tigger were two characters that I feel clearly demonstrated the law.
Eeyore always had his head hung down and was forever focused on the negative in life and anyone who spent too much time around him would surely come away feeling a little deflated and uninspired. Tigger, on the other hand, bounced through life, filled with optimism and even as I think about him bouncing around the set, I feel my spirits lifting.
Are you an Eeyore or a Tigger – I’ve been both at different times in my life and I’ve learned a few lessons along the way. First of all, for most of us, we have a choice as to which one we’re going to be. I respect that there are people who have legitimate illnesses which prevent them from controlling their thoughts. For the majority of us, we have the ability to choose at any given moment to act like Eeyore or to act like Tigger.
I have also learned that these states are contagious and when we are around Eeyores or Tiggers, their conditions rub off on us. So we must then choose carefully who we come in contact with – if we want to remain positive it is wise to surround ourselves with people who will allow us to be optimistic.
When I am able, I choose to be Tigger because we attract that which we focus on. If we are positive and uplifting, we attract that into our lives. The reverse is also true, when we are not positive, we will attract the same to us. I don’t need a professional to tell me that this is true – I have tested the theory myself. When I am Eeyore, my life is more miserable. When I am Tigger – even the dullest day looks brighter. Others around me are also impacted by my mood – so I do the math – and choose, when I can, to be Tiggerlike.
Are you a Tigger or an Eeyore?
15 June 2011
Beating the Blahs!!!!
We all have days that are less than perfect – they can be brought on by any number of things – health problems, money problems, work problems, relationship problems – the list is endless. Couple any of those with the Nova Scotia weather and you have the perfect recipe for the blahs. Now what are you going to do about it?
The key to surviving those temporary moments is to, first of all, realize that they are temporary states. You also have to acknowledge that you have choices in how you react to them. There are steps that you can take to get you out of a funk. There are things that you can do to ensure that you don’t parachute into despair. .
A brisk walk will usually get me refocused but when the weather is nasty, that may not be the best option. Let’s face it, bundled up in a rainsuit battling the wind and trying to keep your umbrella from turning inside out, is not fun. So when I can’t get outside to work off steam, I turn to my writing. Writing has always been my friend – from as far back as I can remember, I have used writing to escape and to create my mood.
Sometimes I just doodle – I grab some markers and a sheet of paper and I start writing words down that represent the world as I would like for it to be today. Other times I take out a piece of paper and I start writing sentences, all perfectly lined one after the other beginning with the words… “I am grateful for…..”
Before long, I’m focusing on the positives in my life and forgetting what is bugging me.
Recently, I have started writing short stories about how the day would look if it went perfectly. Before I know it, I’ve written myself into a good mood. The thing is, we all have events that put us in a bad mood but the decision to stay there is just that, a decision. Not an easy one sometimes, but a decision no less. How you choose to turn things around is unique to each of us. I write – what do you do?
The key to surviving those temporary moments is to, first of all, realize that they are temporary states. You also have to acknowledge that you have choices in how you react to them. There are steps that you can take to get you out of a funk. There are things that you can do to ensure that you don’t parachute into despair. .
A brisk walk will usually get me refocused but when the weather is nasty, that may not be the best option. Let’s face it, bundled up in a rainsuit battling the wind and trying to keep your umbrella from turning inside out, is not fun. So when I can’t get outside to work off steam, I turn to my writing. Writing has always been my friend – from as far back as I can remember, I have used writing to escape and to create my mood.
Sometimes I just doodle – I grab some markers and a sheet of paper and I start writing words down that represent the world as I would like for it to be today. Other times I take out a piece of paper and I start writing sentences, all perfectly lined one after the other beginning with the words… “I am grateful for…..”
Before long, I’m focusing on the positives in my life and forgetting what is bugging me.
Recently, I have started writing short stories about how the day would look if it went perfectly. Before I know it, I’ve written myself into a good mood. The thing is, we all have events that put us in a bad mood but the decision to stay there is just that, a decision. Not an easy one sometimes, but a decision no less. How you choose to turn things around is unique to each of us. I write – what do you do?
13 June 2011
Looking Back
You can't look in two directions at one time and expect to move very far in either. We've all been stuck at one time or another - trying to move forward but anchored by our past. Taking a bit of time to go back and process that which is keeping you there will be of benefit to you in the long run - face them full on, process them and then move forward.
I was reminded of a quote from the Bible - Philippians 3 starting at verse 12 is all about pressing on toward your goal. We never think about the wonderful business tips there are in the Bible.
Philippians 3:13 - forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.
My life has been like this, when I was focused on that which was behind - I not only did it wholeheartedly, but I certainly did not move forward - I became mired in the past. It was only when I made a conscious decision to focus my energy, my thinking and my talent on that which was ahead of me that I made any real headway.
The message is clear - that which we focus upon becomes bigger - so focus on where you wish to go - forward or backward, the choice is yours.
I was reminded of a quote from the Bible - Philippians 3 starting at verse 12 is all about pressing on toward your goal. We never think about the wonderful business tips there are in the Bible.
Philippians 3:13 - forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.
My life has been like this, when I was focused on that which was behind - I not only did it wholeheartedly, but I certainly did not move forward - I became mired in the past. It was only when I made a conscious decision to focus my energy, my thinking and my talent on that which was ahead of me that I made any real headway.
The message is clear - that which we focus upon becomes bigger - so focus on where you wish to go - forward or backward, the choice is yours.
9 June 2011
An Aptitude for Diversity
Depending on where we are located in the country, attitudes toward women in trades may vary. Exposure shapes attitudes and I believe that we develop an “aptitude for diversity” by being exposed to diversity. As I write this, I am reminded of the struggles that women have with aptitude testing and how exposure is tied to aptitude but I digress. The time has come when developing an aptitude for diversity in the construction industry is not so much an option as it is a necessity.
From grade P-3, my daughter went to school in Ontario where there were 11 languages spoken in her classroom - I believe that this early exposure gave her an aptitude for diversity. The statement is not a judgement but rather an acknowledgement that this early exposure prepared her to be accepting of diversity. When we moved to Nova Scotia, she came home and told me that there were no other languages spoken in her class but English - it was very obvious - not right or wrong, just obvious. I believe that we develop an aptitude for diversity by being exposed to diversity.
Let's think of this in terms of tradeswomen. In my experience, growing up in rural NL for example, I did not meet many women who were working in non-traditional work for pay. There were a lot of hard working women who were doing non-traditional work around the home as a result of circumstances. Construction workers in NL were largely migratory and that meant women were often left at home to do the repairs around the house while their spouses went away to make a living. These women worked very hard and were quite capable of doing "men's" work. But working outside the home in non-traditional work for pay was unheard of.
There were also many women doing very hard work in the fishery but that work was traditionally work that the women did. So in spite of the fact that it was heavy work, it was not considered non-traditional work. As women, we did not have exposure to women in trades and the men in trades were not exposed to women in the industry either.
Exposure develops the aptitude for diversity. Without the exposure there is a little bit of stereotyping, room for discrimination and a certain amount of fear by all parties. I like to say that if they're not loving, they're fearing. Exposure takes the mystery out of difference and highlights our similarities.
I can remember when I was growing up that there was a woman who lived in our area and she was a sheep breeder. My father would often mention her and how she was "like a man" and "different" and "not a normal woman". None of these descriptors were meant in harm, he was speaking his truth. The women that he had been exposed to played supporting roles in life, not leading roles. The notion that a woman would want to take a leading role was a foreign concept. It was the way of the world.
Outmigration, low birth rates, an aging population have all combined to present us with an opportunity for diversification in the industry. The Construction industry must diversify. Women will be recruited to fill those roles. But here’s the challenge.
The industry was designed by men for men and it does not suit the needs of women. The culture is harsh on women and retention has always been a challenge. We all know that doing things the way they were always done and expecting different results is a great way to throw good money after bad. We're entering a new era - things have to change.
People focus on recruiting and training women and that's great; recruiting and training are good but how much energy goes into making the environment more welcoming? Absolutely none - there is no real acknowledgement that the environment is challenging. That’s the first step toward real inclusion. Organizational change requires at least a 2 pronged approach – women have to prepare for the industry and the industry needs to prepare for the women. It's the only way that women will be able to go into this profession and make it their own. It is the only way that the profession can attract and retain talent. The reality on the ground speaks a different story and only time will tell the tale.
From grade P-3, my daughter went to school in Ontario where there were 11 languages spoken in her classroom - I believe that this early exposure gave her an aptitude for diversity. The statement is not a judgement but rather an acknowledgement that this early exposure prepared her to be accepting of diversity. When we moved to Nova Scotia, she came home and told me that there were no other languages spoken in her class but English - it was very obvious - not right or wrong, just obvious. I believe that we develop an aptitude for diversity by being exposed to diversity.
Let's think of this in terms of tradeswomen. In my experience, growing up in rural NL for example, I did not meet many women who were working in non-traditional work for pay. There were a lot of hard working women who were doing non-traditional work around the home as a result of circumstances. Construction workers in NL were largely migratory and that meant women were often left at home to do the repairs around the house while their spouses went away to make a living. These women worked very hard and were quite capable of doing "men's" work. But working outside the home in non-traditional work for pay was unheard of.
There were also many women doing very hard work in the fishery but that work was traditionally work that the women did. So in spite of the fact that it was heavy work, it was not considered non-traditional work. As women, we did not have exposure to women in trades and the men in trades were not exposed to women in the industry either.
Exposure develops the aptitude for diversity. Without the exposure there is a little bit of stereotyping, room for discrimination and a certain amount of fear by all parties. I like to say that if they're not loving, they're fearing. Exposure takes the mystery out of difference and highlights our similarities.
I can remember when I was growing up that there was a woman who lived in our area and she was a sheep breeder. My father would often mention her and how she was "like a man" and "different" and "not a normal woman". None of these descriptors were meant in harm, he was speaking his truth. The women that he had been exposed to played supporting roles in life, not leading roles. The notion that a woman would want to take a leading role was a foreign concept. It was the way of the world.
Outmigration, low birth rates, an aging population have all combined to present us with an opportunity for diversification in the industry. The Construction industry must diversify. Women will be recruited to fill those roles. But here’s the challenge.
The industry was designed by men for men and it does not suit the needs of women. The culture is harsh on women and retention has always been a challenge. We all know that doing things the way they were always done and expecting different results is a great way to throw good money after bad. We're entering a new era - things have to change.
People focus on recruiting and training women and that's great; recruiting and training are good but how much energy goes into making the environment more welcoming? Absolutely none - there is no real acknowledgement that the environment is challenging. That’s the first step toward real inclusion. Organizational change requires at least a 2 pronged approach – women have to prepare for the industry and the industry needs to prepare for the women. It's the only way that women will be able to go into this profession and make it their own. It is the only way that the profession can attract and retain talent. The reality on the ground speaks a different story and only time will tell the tale.
An Aptitude for Diversity
An Aptitude for Diversity
Depending on where we are located in the country, attitudes toward women in trades may vary. Exposure shapes attitudes and I believe that we develop an “aptitude for diversity” by being exposed to diversity. As I write this, I am reminded of the struggles that women have with aptitude testing and how exposure is tied to aptitude but I digress. The time has come when developing an aptitude for diversity in the construction industry is not so much an option as it is a necessity.
From grade P-3, my daughter went to school in Ontario where there were 11 languages spoken in her classroom - I believe that this early exposure gave her an aptitude for diversity. The statement is not a judgement but rather an acknowledgement that this early exposure prepared her to be accepting of diversity. When we moved to Nova Scotia, she came home and told me that there were no other languages spoken in her class but English - it was very obvious - not right or wrong, just obvious. I believe that we develop an aptitude for diversity by being exposed to diversity.
Let's think of this in terms of tradeswomen. In my experience, growing up in rural NL for example, I did not meet many women who were working in non-traditional work for pay. There were a lot of hard working women who were doing non-traditional work around the home as a result of circumstances. Construction workers in NL were largely migratory and that meant women were often left at home to do the repairs around the house while their spouses went away to make a living. These women worked very hard and were quite capable of doing "men's" work. But working outside the home in non-traditional work for pay was unheard of.
There were also many women doing very hard work in the fishery but that work was traditionally work that the women did. So in spite of the fact that it was heavy work, it was not considered non-traditional work. As women, we did not have exposure to women in trades and the men in trades were not exposed to women in the industry either.
Exposure develops the aptitude for diversity. Without the exposure there is a little bit of stereotyping, room for discrimination and a certain amount of fear by all parties. I like to say that if they're not loving, they're fearing. Exposure takes the mystery out of difference and highlights our similarities.
I can remember when I was growing up that there was a woman who lived in our area and she was a sheep breeder. My father would often mention her and how she was "like a man" and "different" and "not a normal woman". None of these descriptors were meant in harm, he was speaking his truth. The women that he had been exposed to played supporting roles in life, not leading roles. The notion that a woman would want to take a leading role was a foreign concept. It was the way of the world.
Outmigration, low birth rates, an aging population have all combined to present us with an opportunity for diversification in the industry. The Construction industry must diversify. Women will be recruited to fill those roles. But here’s the challenge.
The industry was designed by men for men and it does not suit the needs of women. The culture is harsh on women and retention has always been a challenge. We all know that doing things the way they were always done and expecting different results is a great way to throw good money after bad. We're entering a new era - things have to change.
People focus on recruiting and training women and that's great; recruiting and training are good but how much energy goes into making the environment more welcoming? Absolutely none - there is no real acknowledgement that the environment is challenging. That’s the first step toward real inclusion. Organizational change requires at least a 2 pronged approach – women have to prepare for the industry and the industry needs to prepare for the women. It's the only way that women will be able to go into this profession and make it their own. It is the only way that the profession can attract and retain talent. The reality on the ground speaks a different story and only time will tell the tale.
Depending on where we are located in the country, attitudes toward women in trades may vary. Exposure shapes attitudes and I believe that we develop an “aptitude for diversity” by being exposed to diversity. As I write this, I am reminded of the struggles that women have with aptitude testing and how exposure is tied to aptitude but I digress. The time has come when developing an aptitude for diversity in the construction industry is not so much an option as it is a necessity.
From grade P-3, my daughter went to school in Ontario where there were 11 languages spoken in her classroom - I believe that this early exposure gave her an aptitude for diversity. The statement is not a judgement but rather an acknowledgement that this early exposure prepared her to be accepting of diversity. When we moved to Nova Scotia, she came home and told me that there were no other languages spoken in her class but English - it was very obvious - not right or wrong, just obvious. I believe that we develop an aptitude for diversity by being exposed to diversity.
Let's think of this in terms of tradeswomen. In my experience, growing up in rural NL for example, I did not meet many women who were working in non-traditional work for pay. There were a lot of hard working women who were doing non-traditional work around the home as a result of circumstances. Construction workers in NL were largely migratory and that meant women were often left at home to do the repairs around the house while their spouses went away to make a living. These women worked very hard and were quite capable of doing "men's" work. But working outside the home in non-traditional work for pay was unheard of.
There were also many women doing very hard work in the fishery but that work was traditionally work that the women did. So in spite of the fact that it was heavy work, it was not considered non-traditional work. As women, we did not have exposure to women in trades and the men in trades were not exposed to women in the industry either.
Exposure develops the aptitude for diversity. Without the exposure there is a little bit of stereotyping, room for discrimination and a certain amount of fear by all parties. I like to say that if they're not loving, they're fearing. Exposure takes the mystery out of difference and highlights our similarities.
I can remember when I was growing up that there was a woman who lived in our area and she was a sheep breeder. My father would often mention her and how she was "like a man" and "different" and "not a normal woman". None of these descriptors were meant in harm, he was speaking his truth. The women that he had been exposed to played supporting roles in life, not leading roles. The notion that a woman would want to take a leading role was a foreign concept. It was the way of the world.
Outmigration, low birth rates, an aging population have all combined to present us with an opportunity for diversification in the industry. The Construction industry must diversify. Women will be recruited to fill those roles. But here’s the challenge.
The industry was designed by men for men and it does not suit the needs of women. The culture is harsh on women and retention has always been a challenge. We all know that doing things the way they were always done and expecting different results is a great way to throw good money after bad. We're entering a new era - things have to change.
People focus on recruiting and training women and that's great; recruiting and training are good but how much energy goes into making the environment more welcoming? Absolutely none - there is no real acknowledgement that the environment is challenging. That’s the first step toward real inclusion. Organizational change requires at least a 2 pronged approach – women have to prepare for the industry and the industry needs to prepare for the women. It's the only way that women will be able to go into this profession and make it their own. It is the only way that the profession can attract and retain talent. The reality on the ground speaks a different story and only time will tell the tale.
28 May 2011
Talking to the boss
Fran had no trouble getting along with the guys – she was one of those women born to work in open pit mining. She had been there 17 years and never really had a major event like some of the ladies reported. She loved working in the trades. People often said that it was because of her personality – she was funny, generous and kind. She would say that growing up with 5 brothers had prepared her for this work.
Get ‘er Done
The thing that also worked in her favour was that she liked to nip trouble in the bud before it got out of control. Even though the thought of having a difficult conversation made her anxious, she had seen too often what could happen when things are not dealt with. She knew that it was important to get ‘er done so the crew could get back to work.
Things were a little different this time. The new boss had only been here about 6 months and things had gone downhill since he came on board. He timed his sexist comments and jokes for when Fran was in earshot. If that weren’t bad enough – the guys had taken to repeating the jokes and offensive language. For example, she and Tim had worked alongside one another for years without a bad word between them. Lately he had taken to referring to women as splitarses – a particularly offensive term that she had never heard him use.
It was affecting her work – she had always loved coming to work, more often these days she had to force herself out the door in the morning. Her husband and children were starting to notice that work made her grumpy. It was time to deal with this because it was impacting her private life.
There was no other option – she had to speak to her boss. Supervisors often don’t realize that they are setting trends. If he gets away with it, then the guys will think it’s ok. One bad seed in a position of authority has the potential to destroy the culture. Bad behaviour at the top could mean hell at the bottom. Some of her male co-workers agreed that the standard had changed and even some of the guys were feeling the pain.
Power Imbalance
Fran knew that anxiety was common whenever there was a need to have a difficult conversation. What she was not prepared for was how the anxiety increased when there was a power imbalance - the stakes were so much higher. The playing field was no longer level.
She had a lot to think about. She did what she normally did – visualized herself going into the office, having the conversation while keeping the conversation on topic. It was important that she only speak about the impact that his behaviour was having in the workplace and she needed to use specific examples. She’s been documenting them for a while now.
It might be a little easier if the boss had a heart of gold but he was known for his biting remarks and use of sarcasm. Fran knew that there was a risk involved. There was no turning back – she was prepared to leave the company if need be.
Fran’s story is not an uncommon one. People have no control over how things will turn out. Many toxic environments are made worse because the boss contributes to or sets the standard for toxic behaviour. Having the conversation is essential – moving on might be the only viable solution but that should only take place after the conversation has taken place.
Get ‘er Done
The thing that also worked in her favour was that she liked to nip trouble in the bud before it got out of control. Even though the thought of having a difficult conversation made her anxious, she had seen too often what could happen when things are not dealt with. She knew that it was important to get ‘er done so the crew could get back to work.
Things were a little different this time. The new boss had only been here about 6 months and things had gone downhill since he came on board. He timed his sexist comments and jokes for when Fran was in earshot. If that weren’t bad enough – the guys had taken to repeating the jokes and offensive language. For example, she and Tim had worked alongside one another for years without a bad word between them. Lately he had taken to referring to women as splitarses – a particularly offensive term that she had never heard him use.
It was affecting her work – she had always loved coming to work, more often these days she had to force herself out the door in the morning. Her husband and children were starting to notice that work made her grumpy. It was time to deal with this because it was impacting her private life.
There was no other option – she had to speak to her boss. Supervisors often don’t realize that they are setting trends. If he gets away with it, then the guys will think it’s ok. One bad seed in a position of authority has the potential to destroy the culture. Bad behaviour at the top could mean hell at the bottom. Some of her male co-workers agreed that the standard had changed and even some of the guys were feeling the pain.
Power Imbalance
Fran knew that anxiety was common whenever there was a need to have a difficult conversation. What she was not prepared for was how the anxiety increased when there was a power imbalance - the stakes were so much higher. The playing field was no longer level.
She had a lot to think about. She did what she normally did – visualized herself going into the office, having the conversation while keeping the conversation on topic. It was important that she only speak about the impact that his behaviour was having in the workplace and she needed to use specific examples. She’s been documenting them for a while now.
It might be a little easier if the boss had a heart of gold but he was known for his biting remarks and use of sarcasm. Fran knew that there was a risk involved. There was no turning back – she was prepared to leave the company if need be.
Fran’s story is not an uncommon one. People have no control over how things will turn out. Many toxic environments are made worse because the boss contributes to or sets the standard for toxic behaviour. Having the conversation is essential – moving on might be the only viable solution but that should only take place after the conversation has taken place.
25 May 2011
Diversity - Diversity - Diversity
Diversity is a growing field because diversity presents challenges in the organization. Times have changed from back in the day when I was part of my first diversity initiative. At age 17, I left my small rural community in NL for a job as a mechanic. The Army was recruiting women to diversify its force. When I look back now, I shake my head - no sensitivity training, no mentoring and no Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Not all the women fared well - the only real option was assimilation and we were not all good at pretending to be something we weren't. Our biggest challenge was staying out of the crosshairs of the institutional bullies. We were not all lucky enough to do that.
The old way is gone and workplaces are having to change - it's about time too. Self acceptance is hard enough without entering a workplace where you're not accepted because of your difference. For diversity to work, the workplace has to change. This is especially the case where workers have never been exposed to a diverse workplace. I always say that they don't know what they don't know. Often they don't know that things they do each day could hurt another person. Change is tough but abuse is tougher.
Thirty years ago, I walked in on a situation where a woman was being verbally abused by a bully and there were bystanders watching. The guy tried to explain himself by saying "We were just having fun, she can't take a joke." The language that he was using toward this women is not even something that a liberal person like me would repeat. I was not a strong woman then, I am ashamed at the way I could not protect her but I never did forget that remark. "We were just having fun - she can't take a joke."
There was no joke, he was engaged in verbal abuse of a sexual nature with lewd remarks and catcalls. and the guys that were looking on joined in laughter and taunting - I've often thought about those guys and how they did what they did to fit in just like all of us did. One apple can really spoil the whole barrell. Times have changed or at least they should. Change takes place sometimes by shining a light on a situation and opening up the situation for candid dialogue. Women that have gone through this industry and learned a lesson or two can share their story to help another.
Working in trades is not the only place where people are vulnerable. Dalhousie University has a diversity initiative to recruit underrepresented minorities. I was admitted into the program by self disclosing that I was disabled. Black and Aboriginal people are also recruited based on these personal characteristics. I love diversity initiatives. There was a support program in place inside the institution to help the Black and Aboriginal students transition but no such program for disabled people. I was also underrepresented on a number of fronts - I was a first generation university student, single mom living on a disability pension. I stood out like a sore thumb alongside my classmates whose family backgrounds were often a little more distinguished.
I remember being asked by a fellow disabled man if I had self disclosed and of course I self disclosed as a disabled woman - I doubt that I would have gotten in on my pedigree alone. He said that he did not self-disclose to get in but he had shared that his dad was a Superior Court Judge and I asked if he had disclosed this on his application. Self identifying comes in all shapes and forms. There can be many benefits of privilege - the privilege of the underrepresented or the privilege of social standing.
Underrepresented minorities need to be protected against the dominant culture - they're at risk if left to their own devices. At the very least, a mentoring program is required but further supports are required especially if you're crossing social strata. I recently spoke with a group of women who are being recruited to go into the trades. They are vulnerable on a number of fronts - they are new to the workforce and entering a non-traditional workforce is an added burden. They need skills to survive in this culture.
It takes a tremendous amount of courage to enter a diversity initiative and to disclose your vulnerabilities. The least that can happen in the workplace/school is that they be given the respect and support that they need to succeed.
The old way is gone and workplaces are having to change - it's about time too. Self acceptance is hard enough without entering a workplace where you're not accepted because of your difference. For diversity to work, the workplace has to change. This is especially the case where workers have never been exposed to a diverse workplace. I always say that they don't know what they don't know. Often they don't know that things they do each day could hurt another person. Change is tough but abuse is tougher.
Thirty years ago, I walked in on a situation where a woman was being verbally abused by a bully and there were bystanders watching. The guy tried to explain himself by saying "We were just having fun, she can't take a joke." The language that he was using toward this women is not even something that a liberal person like me would repeat. I was not a strong woman then, I am ashamed at the way I could not protect her but I never did forget that remark. "We were just having fun - she can't take a joke."
There was no joke, he was engaged in verbal abuse of a sexual nature with lewd remarks and catcalls. and the guys that were looking on joined in laughter and taunting - I've often thought about those guys and how they did what they did to fit in just like all of us did. One apple can really spoil the whole barrell. Times have changed or at least they should. Change takes place sometimes by shining a light on a situation and opening up the situation for candid dialogue. Women that have gone through this industry and learned a lesson or two can share their story to help another.
Working in trades is not the only place where people are vulnerable. Dalhousie University has a diversity initiative to recruit underrepresented minorities. I was admitted into the program by self disclosing that I was disabled. Black and Aboriginal people are also recruited based on these personal characteristics. I love diversity initiatives. There was a support program in place inside the institution to help the Black and Aboriginal students transition but no such program for disabled people. I was also underrepresented on a number of fronts - I was a first generation university student, single mom living on a disability pension. I stood out like a sore thumb alongside my classmates whose family backgrounds were often a little more distinguished.
I remember being asked by a fellow disabled man if I had self disclosed and of course I self disclosed as a disabled woman - I doubt that I would have gotten in on my pedigree alone. He said that he did not self-disclose to get in but he had shared that his dad was a Superior Court Judge and I asked if he had disclosed this on his application. Self identifying comes in all shapes and forms. There can be many benefits of privilege - the privilege of the underrepresented or the privilege of social standing.
Underrepresented minorities need to be protected against the dominant culture - they're at risk if left to their own devices. At the very least, a mentoring program is required but further supports are required especially if you're crossing social strata. I recently spoke with a group of women who are being recruited to go into the trades. They are vulnerable on a number of fronts - they are new to the workforce and entering a non-traditional workforce is an added burden. They need skills to survive in this culture.
It takes a tremendous amount of courage to enter a diversity initiative and to disclose your vulnerabilities. The least that can happen in the workplace/school is that they be given the respect and support that they need to succeed.
19 May 2011
A Day in the life of a Coach
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DUDE
Joanie calls me one day and she says, "Debbie, I need your help. I'm having problems with this guy at work and I don't know what I did to make him hate me. He used to really like me and yesterday we had a Safety Meeting and he didn't even pass the word on to me. I looked stupid when my boss asked me why I wasn't there. When I asked Jack why he never told me he mumbled that he wasn't my supervisor. I can't handle this drama - what do I do?"
Well, of course I can help you out sista - you've got a classic case of jealousy on your hands.
I love my job - coaching women through those days at work when everything seems to be going wrong. It's tough enough to have chosen a profession that is hard on the body but when it is hard on the mind, it gets tough to handle. After all we usually have to go home to a family who wants us to care for them - we don't have time for this childishness at work. Being a woman in trades can be challenging but there are little tools to add to your tool box.
You're wondering what I told her?
Well, for starters, we always acknowledge that we can't change other people - we can only change our reaction. If they ain't lovin' they're fearin' is what I like to say.
Then we take a walk in the other person's shoes for a minute. When Joanie came onsite, Jack was very nice to her. Jack was known for being helpful and he had a reputation for being the go-to guy. But Joanie was getting quite confident in her work lately and recently a couple of the guys had gone to her for advice on a particular technical problem they were having.
Jack observed all of this. Joanie was taking away his job - she was becoming the go-to gal. Jack was feeling the rub.
Are you having an 'ah ha' moment right about now? I wonder what Joanie will do with this information? Will knowing this change anything? What would you do?
Oh the life of a coach is very, very interesting - especially when people say "ah ha - hadn't thought of that."
In Sisterhood - Deb
Joanie calls me one day and she says, "Debbie, I need your help. I'm having problems with this guy at work and I don't know what I did to make him hate me. He used to really like me and yesterday we had a Safety Meeting and he didn't even pass the word on to me. I looked stupid when my boss asked me why I wasn't there. When I asked Jack why he never told me he mumbled that he wasn't my supervisor. I can't handle this drama - what do I do?"
Well, of course I can help you out sista - you've got a classic case of jealousy on your hands.
I love my job - coaching women through those days at work when everything seems to be going wrong. It's tough enough to have chosen a profession that is hard on the body but when it is hard on the mind, it gets tough to handle. After all we usually have to go home to a family who wants us to care for them - we don't have time for this childishness at work. Being a woman in trades can be challenging but there are little tools to add to your tool box.
You're wondering what I told her?
Well, for starters, we always acknowledge that we can't change other people - we can only change our reaction. If they ain't lovin' they're fearin' is what I like to say.
Then we take a walk in the other person's shoes for a minute. When Joanie came onsite, Jack was very nice to her. Jack was known for being helpful and he had a reputation for being the go-to guy. But Joanie was getting quite confident in her work lately and recently a couple of the guys had gone to her for advice on a particular technical problem they were having.
Jack observed all of this. Joanie was taking away his job - she was becoming the go-to gal. Jack was feeling the rub.
Are you having an 'ah ha' moment right about now? I wonder what Joanie will do with this information? Will knowing this change anything? What would you do?
Oh the life of a coach is very, very interesting - especially when people say "ah ha - hadn't thought of that."
In Sisterhood - Deb
18 May 2011
Day 1 - I'm so nervous
Susie,
I knew you’d be a bit nervous about your first day so I thought I’d share a few nuggets of wisdom with you from back in the day. I know how much you hate it when I say that but promise you’ll read this to the end. You see, us older ladies have been there and you don’t need to reinvent the wheel everytime.
I can remember how exciting it was to pick out my clothes the night before that big day. I’d been given my gear during Orientation Training and my brother had helped me to scuff it all up a bit so that I wouldn’t stand out as a newbie. I chuckle at it now – it probably helps psychologically but there is no getting away from the fact that when you walk in, it will be like aliens have landed . So suck it up sista.
I was told to report to Arnie at Site 9 and some guy pointed him out for me. I thought Arnie was ancient looking – he looked 50. Back when I was 20, it seemed old but now that I’m 50, I’ve changed my mind about that.
I walked over to Arnie and held out my hand and said “Hi, I’m Debbie”. I used my assertive voice like they taught me in the interview workshop. He didn’t even look at me as he yelled out to another guy. “Ted. Get over here!!”
“Ted, this is Donna – she’s going to work with you today.” I could tell that Ted was not so pleased about this and he looked like he was hearing it for the first time. Great!! I found out later that the guys on the site didn’t even know that there was a woman coming into the worksite which made them resent us more. But that’s a topic for another day.
“Debbie, my name is Debbie.” I wasnted to yell. All of a sudden, Ted grabs me and yells out “What the F…..” as he whirls me behind him. I must have looked frightened because he softened up a little.
“Donna, there’s a lot of stuff going on here – keep your eyes and ears peeled at all times.” I looked around then and saw a couple of cranes swinging overhead, trucks everywhere moving supplies in and debris out. It was crazy. People were working together in little clusters minding their own business.
I’m brought back to reality when he says “Grab the end of this board, we’re moving them down into the hole.” I spent the rest of the day moving boards down into a hole, one by one. It didn’t make much sense to me at the time. I thought I’d be reading blueprints, doing layouts, bossing everyone around on the first day. I thought I'd have my own slaves. Carrying boards – are you kidding me????
But it all makes sense Susie – there’ a method to this madness. Back at the college we were taught how everything fit together but we never had the pressure of the real world and we didn’t parachute into the middle of a project. The real world is kind of crazy Susie – you have to hit the ground running. Just do what they tell you to do and it will all make sense after a while.
I can remember picking up one end of a couple of planks we were carrying and as we stepped off, I went to the left and he went to the right – I felt so foolish but Ted just chuckled and said “Donna, listen to what I’m saying.”
I remember thinking at the time that I hadn’t learned anything that first day. But I learned plenty and you will too – I learned that it’s important to be aware of what’s going on around you in an environment with a lot of hazards. I’m a much better listener now because of the mistakes I made that day. I was given a task that I thought was below me – imagine me carrying board around – that’s not what I trained for. But it is so important to learn how to operate in this environment so that I’m safe and my fellow worker is safe – starting with a less demanding task helped me to learn that. You’re getting used to the environment in those early days – there will be plenty of time for challenge later on.
At one point Ted said, “Let’s scab these boards together, Donna.” I had to ask even though I felt like a fool – “What’s a scab?” I thought it was something that I picked off my knee when I was a kid. But scabbing is industry lingo for nailing two pieces of board together. Obviously there are new terms to learn too.
When the day was over, Ted and I walked out together. “You did a good job today Debbie.” Did he really just call me Debbie – now that is progress?
“Tomorrow we’re working on the barge. I never asked what a barge was – I would learn when I saw it. I was starting to trust the process a little.
Susie, enjoy your first day. You’re new, they know you’re new. You have nothing to prove…...yet. lol
Call me when you get home.
I knew you’d be a bit nervous about your first day so I thought I’d share a few nuggets of wisdom with you from back in the day. I know how much you hate it when I say that but promise you’ll read this to the end. You see, us older ladies have been there and you don’t need to reinvent the wheel everytime.
I can remember how exciting it was to pick out my clothes the night before that big day. I’d been given my gear during Orientation Training and my brother had helped me to scuff it all up a bit so that I wouldn’t stand out as a newbie. I chuckle at it now – it probably helps psychologically but there is no getting away from the fact that when you walk in, it will be like aliens have landed . So suck it up sista.
I was told to report to Arnie at Site 9 and some guy pointed him out for me. I thought Arnie was ancient looking – he looked 50. Back when I was 20, it seemed old but now that I’m 50, I’ve changed my mind about that.
I walked over to Arnie and held out my hand and said “Hi, I’m Debbie”. I used my assertive voice like they taught me in the interview workshop. He didn’t even look at me as he yelled out to another guy. “Ted. Get over here!!”
“Ted, this is Donna – she’s going to work with you today.” I could tell that Ted was not so pleased about this and he looked like he was hearing it for the first time. Great!! I found out later that the guys on the site didn’t even know that there was a woman coming into the worksite which made them resent us more. But that’s a topic for another day.
“Debbie, my name is Debbie.” I wasnted to yell. All of a sudden, Ted grabs me and yells out “What the F…..” as he whirls me behind him. I must have looked frightened because he softened up a little.
“Donna, there’s a lot of stuff going on here – keep your eyes and ears peeled at all times.” I looked around then and saw a couple of cranes swinging overhead, trucks everywhere moving supplies in and debris out. It was crazy. People were working together in little clusters minding their own business.
I’m brought back to reality when he says “Grab the end of this board, we’re moving them down into the hole.” I spent the rest of the day moving boards down into a hole, one by one. It didn’t make much sense to me at the time. I thought I’d be reading blueprints, doing layouts, bossing everyone around on the first day. I thought I'd have my own slaves. Carrying boards – are you kidding me????
But it all makes sense Susie – there’ a method to this madness. Back at the college we were taught how everything fit together but we never had the pressure of the real world and we didn’t parachute into the middle of a project. The real world is kind of crazy Susie – you have to hit the ground running. Just do what they tell you to do and it will all make sense after a while.
I can remember picking up one end of a couple of planks we were carrying and as we stepped off, I went to the left and he went to the right – I felt so foolish but Ted just chuckled and said “Donna, listen to what I’m saying.”
I remember thinking at the time that I hadn’t learned anything that first day. But I learned plenty and you will too – I learned that it’s important to be aware of what’s going on around you in an environment with a lot of hazards. I’m a much better listener now because of the mistakes I made that day. I was given a task that I thought was below me – imagine me carrying board around – that’s not what I trained for. But it is so important to learn how to operate in this environment so that I’m safe and my fellow worker is safe – starting with a less demanding task helped me to learn that. You’re getting used to the environment in those early days – there will be plenty of time for challenge later on.
At one point Ted said, “Let’s scab these boards together, Donna.” I had to ask even though I felt like a fool – “What’s a scab?” I thought it was something that I picked off my knee when I was a kid. But scabbing is industry lingo for nailing two pieces of board together. Obviously there are new terms to learn too.
When the day was over, Ted and I walked out together. “You did a good job today Debbie.” Did he really just call me Debbie – now that is progress?
“Tomorrow we’re working on the barge. I never asked what a barge was – I would learn when I saw it. I was starting to trust the process a little.
Susie, enjoy your first day. You’re new, they know you’re new. You have nothing to prove…...yet. lol
Call me when you get home.
17 May 2011
She's My Hero
Brenda Lynch is a lady from Upper Island Cove, NL who will start work again on Monday in Long Harbour. She is a remarkable lady and I mean that from the bottom of my heart not because she is my sister but because she is so awesome. Brenda and her husband have lived and worked in Nova Scotia for many years and they operated their own business doing Cement Finishing. It was here that she learned and perfected her craft. She is the only cement finisher Journeywoman in the Bricklayers Union in NL. She is also 49 years old and a mom to two fantastic kids.
Brenda is a tiny yet dynamic lady. Even though she works alongside men whose sheer size can be intimidating, she is not easily ruffled and can hold her own among the guys. She can work with the best of them and often has been guilty of offering creative solutions for problem solving on the job. Men who work alongside Brenda have been heard to say that they love having Brenda on their crew. She gets along well with the men, enjoys a laugh and a good story and is a tremendous team player.
I think I speak for all women when I say that we're proud to have Brenda in the ranks of TRADESWOMAN EXTRAORDINAIRE. We're sending out best wishes to her as she heads into this new venture in her life. Way to go sista....
Brenda is a tiny yet dynamic lady. Even though she works alongside men whose sheer size can be intimidating, she is not easily ruffled and can hold her own among the guys. She can work with the best of them and often has been guilty of offering creative solutions for problem solving on the job. Men who work alongside Brenda have been heard to say that they love having Brenda on their crew. She gets along well with the men, enjoys a laugh and a good story and is a tremendous team player.
I think I speak for all women when I say that we're proud to have Brenda in the ranks of TRADESWOMAN EXTRAORDINAIRE. We're sending out best wishes to her as she heads into this new venture in her life. Way to go sista....
Social Media - Generational Difference
What a great afternoon. The Sackville Business Association hosted a wonderful Social Media event at the Avodah Cafe in Lower Sackville today. We enjoyed delicious soup, sandwiches and desserts while we learned all about using modern technologies to develop relationships with people online.
Joel Kelly of MT&L, Sarah Carver of Radian6 and Lauren Oostveen of Nova Scotia Archives shared some fascinating information about the benefits of social media and some stories about what can go wrong when it is not managed well. It was informative and a little overwhelming at the same time.
It goes without saying that Social Media is the way of the future and it will impact business in a large way. I had a real ah ha moment during the presentation as I realized how important it is to ensure that if you're going to do the online thing, it makes good sense that you do it well. A half baked program can ruin your image. It is another example of the difference between the generations - the younger folk clearly excel at grasping and utilizing this media.
But, and this is the caveat - at the end of the day, it's not the panacea that everyone might think it is. Social Media, when done well, will get people in the door and face to face with a client. The face to face part is probably the "old fashioned" part and it is the area where the older folk are excelling. After all, for time immemorial, the older generation have been fostering, nurturing and growing face to face relationships.
The final outcome for me - I'll be making sure that I tweak my online presence in the coming months to get with the game. I see that it does have value and I'll be getting a younger person - like my nephew Shane - to really help me to get it right. It's another example of how the generations compliment one another with the skills that they have in a world that is quite diverse.
Joel Kelly of MT&L, Sarah Carver of Radian6 and Lauren Oostveen of Nova Scotia Archives shared some fascinating information about the benefits of social media and some stories about what can go wrong when it is not managed well. It was informative and a little overwhelming at the same time.
It goes without saying that Social Media is the way of the future and it will impact business in a large way. I had a real ah ha moment during the presentation as I realized how important it is to ensure that if you're going to do the online thing, it makes good sense that you do it well. A half baked program can ruin your image. It is another example of the difference between the generations - the younger folk clearly excel at grasping and utilizing this media.
But, and this is the caveat - at the end of the day, it's not the panacea that everyone might think it is. Social Media, when done well, will get people in the door and face to face with a client. The face to face part is probably the "old fashioned" part and it is the area where the older folk are excelling. After all, for time immemorial, the older generation have been fostering, nurturing and growing face to face relationships.
The final outcome for me - I'll be making sure that I tweak my online presence in the coming months to get with the game. I see that it does have value and I'll be getting a younger person - like my nephew Shane - to really help me to get it right. It's another example of how the generations compliment one another with the skills that they have in a world that is quite diverse.
18 February 2011
Communication
Skills Canada recently hosted a one day workshop for high school students and I participated as a mentor. I was asked by one of the students what I thought was the most important skill that a trades person could have.
Often in our education at community colleges, the focus is on the hard skills and for good reason. It is essential that we have knowledge of the internal workings of a four stroke engine to use an example from my trade. In the classroom, knowledge gets passed to all students equally. But learning onsite is all about the relationship between people. Knowledge in the real world is passed from master to apprentice often under conditions that don't leave time for learning. Communication has the potential to greatly enhance that learning experience.
Good communicators ask for opportunities to learn. Good communicators can ask the right questions that can greatly enhance their ability to learn. Good communicators are often chosen for supervisory positions. One of the reasons is because they can articulate what is needed and direct others with clear communication. Good communicators are better advocates in the workplace and contribute to healthier work environments.
Communication is by far the skill that is most important to success in the trades.
Often in our education at community colleges, the focus is on the hard skills and for good reason. It is essential that we have knowledge of the internal workings of a four stroke engine to use an example from my trade. In the classroom, knowledge gets passed to all students equally. But learning onsite is all about the relationship between people. Knowledge in the real world is passed from master to apprentice often under conditions that don't leave time for learning. Communication has the potential to greatly enhance that learning experience.
Good communicators ask for opportunities to learn. Good communicators can ask the right questions that can greatly enhance their ability to learn. Good communicators are often chosen for supervisory positions. One of the reasons is because they can articulate what is needed and direct others with clear communication. Good communicators are better advocates in the workplace and contribute to healthier work environments.
Communication is by far the skill that is most important to success in the trades.
Going Forward
We were not all fortunate enough to grow up in families where our needs were always met – many of us grew up in environments that were not nurturing. Childhood trauma, poverty, bad parenting, alcoholism, abuse and neglect are just a few of the reasons why children grow up with a distorted view of the world. When a child can’t trust the primary caregiver, it leaves a lasting impression. Children are often torn between a desire to move forward and an obligation to protect the family secrets. Roles become reversed and the children become parents.
The story does not end there. The real tragedy is that sometimes the problems we inherit as children interfere with our success as adults. I have met a lot of adults who have not managed to put their past into perspective. Having experienced a substantial amount of trauma in my own life, I can certainly appreciate where they are coming from and what the challenges are.
There are others though who are taking back their lives, doing the work to understand the past and then making better choices for the future. I am delighted to meet other entrepreneurs who have put their past into perspective and then used their experiences from childhood to make the world a better place. As we chat together the one thing that we realize is that putting the past in perspective is essential to moving forward. The other thing that we agree upon is that we gained a lot of skill in those difficult places and we are using those skills in our businesses.
We acknowledge that it was not a battle that was easily won and there were certain steps that we followed. Accepting and acknowledging our past was key combined with a willingness to forgive and let go. We all speak about letting go of shame that was not our own. We then accepted that we were adults and as adults we have control over what happens to our lives from here on in.
A friend of mine imparted a wonderful piece of wisdom recently when she said. “When we made mistakes in the past – we were doing the best we could with the tools that we had. Now we have new tools and with those tools we are making better decisions.” I thought that this was a profound piece of advice – we can’t change where we came from but we can certainly control where it is that we are going.
Choose to be the best that you can be!!!
The story does not end there. The real tragedy is that sometimes the problems we inherit as children interfere with our success as adults. I have met a lot of adults who have not managed to put their past into perspective. Having experienced a substantial amount of trauma in my own life, I can certainly appreciate where they are coming from and what the challenges are.
There are others though who are taking back their lives, doing the work to understand the past and then making better choices for the future. I am delighted to meet other entrepreneurs who have put their past into perspective and then used their experiences from childhood to make the world a better place. As we chat together the one thing that we realize is that putting the past in perspective is essential to moving forward. The other thing that we agree upon is that we gained a lot of skill in those difficult places and we are using those skills in our businesses.
We acknowledge that it was not a battle that was easily won and there were certain steps that we followed. Accepting and acknowledging our past was key combined with a willingness to forgive and let go. We all speak about letting go of shame that was not our own. We then accepted that we were adults and as adults we have control over what happens to our lives from here on in.
A friend of mine imparted a wonderful piece of wisdom recently when she said. “When we made mistakes in the past – we were doing the best we could with the tools that we had. Now we have new tools and with those tools we are making better decisions.” I thought that this was a profound piece of advice – we can’t change where we came from but we can certainly control where it is that we are going.
Choose to be the best that you can be!!!
27 December 2010
29 November 2010
Perfectionism
Some people believe that in order to be a great leader, it is necessary to be perfect. The reality is that great leaders aren't perfect, they have probably fallen a time or two. In all likelihood, a great leader will have made mistakes along the way, learned from them and then extracted lessons to pass on to others.
I would much sooner follow a leader who has fallen and got back up than a leader that has never fallen. The reason is obviour; a leader who gets back up has to have learned valuable lessons in the low point of life and very obviously put those lessons to good use if he/she is now on the leadership track. They are probably able to go on and inspire others to overcome their own obstacles in life because they have been there. People in positions of authority who have never made mistakes seem a bit super human and face challenges gaining respect because of it.
In the military, there was a lot of respect for officers that had worked their way up through the ranks to become commissioned officers. The other route that was available was to get a university degree and then become an officer, never having been where the rubber hits the road. These officers had a much more difficult time gaining the respect of the troops because they were not considered to be tried and true and also because they were not "one of us". As soldiers we trusted those who had been where we were, understood the challenges and could offer sound advice based on experience. Those who had taken the other route to leadership had a more difficult challenge.
The lesson is this - it's not the mistakes that will hurt you, it is the failure to make them and learn from them that will do more harm.
I would much sooner follow a leader who has fallen and got back up than a leader that has never fallen. The reason is obviour; a leader who gets back up has to have learned valuable lessons in the low point of life and very obviously put those lessons to good use if he/she is now on the leadership track. They are probably able to go on and inspire others to overcome their own obstacles in life because they have been there. People in positions of authority who have never made mistakes seem a bit super human and face challenges gaining respect because of it.
In the military, there was a lot of respect for officers that had worked their way up through the ranks to become commissioned officers. The other route that was available was to get a university degree and then become an officer, never having been where the rubber hits the road. These officers had a much more difficult time gaining the respect of the troops because they were not considered to be tried and true and also because they were not "one of us". As soldiers we trusted those who had been where we were, understood the challenges and could offer sound advice based on experience. Those who had taken the other route to leadership had a more difficult challenge.
The lesson is this - it's not the mistakes that will hurt you, it is the failure to make them and learn from them that will do more harm.
17 November 2010
First Female Cement Finisher in Long Harbour
Brenda Lynch is a remarkable woman. She also happens to be my sister. She has been a cement finisher in Nova Scotia for 27 years. She co-owns a company with her husband where they have been working since the early 80's in Nova Scotia where they specialize in sidewalks, curbs and gutter. Brenda enjoys working outside with the men. She has been a member of the Brick Layers union in NL for a couple of years now and had her fingers crossed that she would get a call to do some union work.
When you work for yourself in a small company, it is not uncommon to have to do a wide variety of tasks including labour work. Union work is different because there are labourers and that means that the cement finishers are responsible for finishing cement and labourers do the heavier labour work. It's a real treat to work on this union job - the pay is not too shabby either.
Brenda is the only female cement finisher in the Bricklayers Union. She will, no doubt, be a mentor and role model for the many young women who are going to come behind her. I have no doubt that it will be a very rewarding experience. Her first day is Monday and I will keep you posted when I know more. It is so exciting to see women take the lead in industry - we're cheering for you Brenda.
When you work for yourself in a small company, it is not uncommon to have to do a wide variety of tasks including labour work. Union work is different because there are labourers and that means that the cement finishers are responsible for finishing cement and labourers do the heavier labour work. It's a real treat to work on this union job - the pay is not too shabby either.
Brenda is the only female cement finisher in the Bricklayers Union. She will, no doubt, be a mentor and role model for the many young women who are going to come behind her. I have no doubt that it will be a very rewarding experience. Her first day is Monday and I will keep you posted when I know more. It is so exciting to see women take the lead in industry - we're cheering for you Brenda.
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