Men have been doing this for centuries.

Having someone say "You're like a man." isn't a bad thing unless of course they're referring to your face hair. 

This is exactly what a man said to me this week - I have learned over time that it is best not to react to odd statements. Instead I asked whether he wanted to chat about this a bit. and we did.

I knew he didn't mean it as an insult even though at first glance, it could be taken as one. I knew this because he is someone that I respect quite a bit and I know that he respects me - so we had THE TALK.

1. LEARNING ON THE FLY

Apparently for years the entrepreneurial space was dominated by men and they had certain characteristics that helped them to fast track success. For example, there is this tendency for men to jump in with both feet without having all the ducks lined up. Apparently this is something that women aren't known for. I hate to speak in broad terms or "extrapolate from a sample of one" but I have noticed that women do procrastinate more before taking action. Maybe I learned to "act like a man" from all of the years that I worked with men in the army - I do have a reputation for learning on the fly. Personally, I think that this is the way we need to roll in business - course correcting as we go as opposed to playing it too safe. 

Don't get me wrong or read into this more than there is - it's great to be prepared but there comes a time when you must take the plunge. Done is better than perfect folks. 

2. CHANGING THE SCOPE MEANS CHANGING THE PRICE

Ever had one of those contracts that changes halfway through? It's fair to say that we don't know what we don't know. We can get into a project and have the client want things done differently as time goes on. When this happens in business "when the scope changes" halfway through, you need to get the parties back to the drawing board and look at the cost again. When the scope changes, the hard (and soft) costs often change and that means that the price has to change. I have this discussion early with clients. That way it comes as no surprise when the time comes to up the price. This ensures that the client gets the value they were promised while I get paid what my service is worth. 

We discussed many other examples including things like the tendency for women to charge the right price and then throw in so many extras that they watered down the price and value. This looks like hidden money mindset issues. 

Apparently there are variations in how men and women do business. I have a few pretty savvy business women in my corner who are just like me so I hadn't noticed until he mentioned it.

So here's the upshot - I told him that I didn't think that I was acting like a man as much as I was behaving like a business woman who took this gig seriously. What about you? How do you act? 

Be careful what you ask for - you just might get it!!!

Mindset is everything in business. You can ask "How can I make a nickel?" or you can ask "How can I make $25,000?" and your mind will find the answer. Where is it that you're playing safe in your business - holding back on what you're asking for?

The right kind of thinking makes a ton of difference everywhere in life. This isn't a new age way of thinking - books like The Little Engine that Could demonstrated that we need to think we can before we ever get out there and make it happen.

Ask for what you want and do be specific. I mean down to the very detail - what is it that you want? Don't settle for a nickel. Ask!!! I know it's a foreign concept for a lot of people but believe me when I tell you that this stuff works. 

As adults - we don't know what we don't know and once you learn something, you can't go back - you have that nugget of information forever - I was taught how to pay attention to what I was thinking and what words were coming out of my mouth. Monitoring what I say and understanding how what I think will impact the results I get matters a great deal - we generally bring about what we think about. If you want to know what you are thinking about, listen to what you are saying. 

Are you always complaining or what I like to call defining the problem or have you learned to focus on the solution.  I'm not talking about playing ostrich - sticking your head in the sand has no value. Things don't get better if you ignore them. 

I'm talking about creating a compelling vision of where it is that you're headed - you see that's what we're doing already - except that most of us are not paying attention. The compelling vision that you're creating on autopilot could be taking you to a bad place. 

What if we reframed our language for example instead of 

"We're a have not province" becomes "We're on our way to becoming a province of abundance." Pay attention to the energy that each statement brings. 

This new way of thinking feels foreign when we first start out. But most things do when we are new at it. 

Where do you begin you may ask? 

Suspend your disbelief for a moment. You have nothing to lose - open your mind to the possibility that there are things you don't know yet - and you don't know what you don't know. 

Changing what you think about is a two part process. The first step is to become aware of what you're thinking. Do this with a friend - for one day - monitor what you say to one another - is it positive or negative? Learn to tell the difference. 

That's step one. 

I'll talk about this in more detail in the 30 Day Sales Challenge in June. Hope you will join us. 

When I feel frazzled, I write...

I've been writing for more than 50 years - as long as I can remember, I've put crayon to paper (not the pack of 64 that the guy sitting next to me had). We're talking little inch long nibs of crayon that I had to peel the paper off of first. Then I put lead to paper - sharpened with a pocket knife, edges uneven.

Then I put pen to paper and later on that turned into finger to key

...all in an effort to get my thoughts out there.

I'm not all that strategic with my blog - there's a ton of advice around getting people to sign up and have it delivered to their inbox - that would take too much work. I guess I write for me and when I do, it's a little more authentic but it always strikes a cord with a reader so that must count for something.

I've had the best conversations with people as a result of something that I have written. So I guess that when I'm asked whether my blog is working for me, the answer is - ya, of course it is.

Self care has been front of mind for me lately because I have been feeling a little frazzled. I find that when this happens, I also notice that others are feeling the same way. I'll come across a tweet for example about overwhelm and it jumps out. It's the universe holding a mirror up for me.

Writing has been my go to tool for self care and lately I haven't been writing as much. I purchased a nice calligraphy pen lately - mindful writing there especially for a beginner.

I'm curious, what do you do for self care? 

3 Simple Steps to an Awesome Life

Life is what you make it. Here are three suggestions for making life a little easier.

1. Forgive quickly. Holding onto a grudge takes energy. Energy that is better used somewhere else. Learn from each negative experience. Accept that the other person was likely doing the best they could at the time. Forgive quickly. Common sense says that you don't need to invite that person back into your life if you don't feel it's right - it's ok to let them go.

2. Stop worrying about what others will think. It's a given that there will be people who will judge you. Let them. While they're sitting at home judging, you can be out there living it up. There is so much life to live and if you're waiting for permission, you'll never get there. Think about a time when you have talked about someone else - it was a time when you were unhappy. Send them loving thoughts and get on with your life. They only have control over you if you let their opinion determine your next step.

3. Be kind. Randomly, be good to other people. There's a distinction between being a doormat and being kind. Know the difference and get out there and be kind. A simple test is to ask if you're doing this act of kindness to get something back, That's unhealthy. If you're doing it because you can and you want to, that's great. Another test - if you're being kind so that someone will be anchored to you - it's the wrong type of kindness. .Be kind.

Enjoy life!!!