I was so jealous to see her on stage....

Just a few weeks back, I saw that a woman I used to know was giving a talk on a big stage. I hadn't seen her in a while and I had wondered what she was up to now. As I read the flyer I felt myself experiencing jealousy and resentment. She appeared so confident on that stage. I didn't like the way I was feeling - we both came from humble beginnings and look at her now!!!!!

"HEY, HEY, HEY WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?'

I'm jolted out of my negative thoughts about her by my internal policing agent - the voice inside me that has common sense and the storehouse for all that I have learned about unconscious bias. She's the voice who takes over when conditioned thinking messes things up for me. I love it when she shows up to shake me out of my conditioning.

Education has been my saving grace - when I know better I do better and I'm grateful that I can challenge those conditioned thoughts with common sense and logic. What I learned as a child no longer serves me. It has not been like the flicking of a switch. 

I prefer to liken it to dusting a hardwood floor - those dust bunnies can be pretty sneaky. every now and then a giant one will show up even after I thought I had them all. 

So I looked at that flyer again - my friend making it onto that big stage. "Well, way to go girl. I will tip my hat to ya.  I am proud of you for taking new ground."

I also took it easy on myself - it's been a lot of work to get here. I'm proud of that work. 

Unconscious bias can really hurt your money maker. Challenging those assumptions that may have served to keep you stuck is hard work and every now and then you've got to do a little tune up when you start to slip. It is worth it. 

I love collaborations!!!

I regularly collaborate privately with one particular person. I believe we work very well together because we communicate well. We bring up the taboo items; we talk about the elephant in the room.

It's one of the best collaborations I've had and it gets better each time we work together.

I'd love to hear what makes your collaborations a success.

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You should have seen me at the gym

There's a reason why I coach entrepreneurship and not fitness. I joined a gym lately and I'm still trying to find my comfort zone there. The vision thing makes it tough at times. If you go to the gym you'll see me there looking like a female version of Magoo feeling my way around the room. 

Alma Taylor 

"You should see me at the gym!"

I was forced into entrepreneurship and learned to love it and I've got my fingers crossed that the same thing will happen at the gym. Did I mention that I am not a gym person.

I have noticed that my upper body strength is not what it used to be. I blame it on the sedentary lifestyle. A couple of days ago I went online and found an exercise that would work my arms. Next time I went to the gym I found the machine and got set up.

I set the weight at 10 lbs and sat down with the intention of doing 12 reps (I'm getting the lingo). Well, I couldn't even get to four and before I continued, I took the 10 lbs off and did it with the bar alone. Here I was trying to remember how to breath, where to position my feet, making sure I had the right form - all the while hearing the reel of my mantra STRONG BODY, STRONG BODY playing in my mind.

I was shocked that I was having such difficultly with this machine - I did a quick check over the shoulder to make sure no one was watching. This was bloody hard and I was getting slightly pissed.

Next day I'm at the gym and determined to get back on that machine. I walk over and there's a fella on the machine and you can tell that it's not his first time in a gym. You know what I'm saying? This man was buff. I watched how he managed with a lot of weight on the machine. He made it look easy. There was also something else that I noticed.

Before he got on the machine he brought this handle over the top and grasped them on the bottom. It's hard to write about here but can  you get the picture? The handle is flipped up and then when you sit down, you flip it down. I DIDN'T DO THAT FLIPPING DOWN PART the first day.

There's the reason why I couldn't do any reps. I took a second to laugh at myself and then I took over the machine when he was finished. Moved that weight to 20 lbs and I had no trouble at all.
I could have burst out laughing as I watched him flip this handle around and then start the exercise - I didn't use the machine the right way. No wonder it felt so awful. Thank goodness I can laugh at myself.

Here's the deal - if you are a perfectionist, you'll never try new things. Learn to laugh at yourself. Embrace the incompetence that you feel when you try new things. You've got to crawl before you walk and you have to make it fun.

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When you're hiring a Virtual Assistant, these are the things to consider.

What a view!!

I'm blessed to have an awesome Virtual Assistant (VA) but it took a couple of tries to find one that would work well for me. Here is what I discovered as I was going along.

1. They don't need to know it all but they do have to be teachable. This is a must for me. I have to have things a certain way to work with my systems. It takes time to teach someone and there's nothing worse than someone who is set in their ways and don't want to learn anything new.

2. It helps if they're real comfy with technology especially if you're like me - low tech in all that I do. I hire to my weakness and I also want her to take over some of my duties which leads me to the next thing that is essential.

3. They have to appreciate that when you have a process that works, they need to follow that process or have a darn good reason why they won't use your tried and true.

4. Pay them what they're worth - the range that they charge is anybodies guess. But you know the value in what they're providing - pay them what they are worth. I've got a hangup about taking advantage of people. Probably comes from being taken advantage of. Pay them what they are worth.

5. For entrepreneurs with disabilities - an awesome VA can really make or break your business. After all, they can help us scale the extra barriers.