Let the Play Come to You

Every now and then someone uses a line and I think to myself "I'm soooo using that line."

Pastor Larry Levy of the Vineyard in Lower Sackville (fondly referred to as The Ice Cream Church in the local area) dropped in for a little visit today. Truth be told it's more of a banter with a belly laugh or two thrown into our existential musings - no kidding, this guy could do stand up.

Larry, with his gift of encouragement loves to hear how I'm doing in biz. I shared with him that I had planted so many seeds lately and I was feeling that my internal guides were telling me to relax a bit. It's as if I needed to just hold back....I stumbled for the right word to describe the unique feeling I was experiencing but I  knew that what I needed to do was ........ NOTHING.

"Ah" Larry quipped. "Let the play come to you!!"

I love this term. He went on to explain how during a game of hockey, players often hustle hard to get to the puck. I love analogies. I never watch hockey but I trust the guy. I could see it.

Tony, a seasoned player going flat out skating down the ice, his throat raw from playing hard. All of a sudden the puck goes flying by his head just missing him. He puts the brakes on but can't stop in time and he smacks into the boards. He's riled up now! All of a sudden Larry skates up preceded by a fan of snow crystals as he comes to a dead stop and leans in. Hey Tony "Let the play come to you."

Yes.........that's it.

Think about it for a second though. Haven't you worked your ass off at times and still can't seem to gain any traction? Is it possible at times like this that what you really need is ease up on the pedal a little. "Hey, let the play come to you".

Decision Making 101

When I have a tough decision to make, I struggle like everyone else - after all, it's called a tough decision for a reason. There are pros and cons to each side of the issue. When I get to that place where, I am tempted, very tempted to stick with the status quo just because making a decision is tough - I kick it into overdrive - I journal!!!

My tried and true system for decision making. It goes like this.

With pen poised to write, I ask myself:

1. What is it about the current state of affairs (CSA) that isn't working?

Many of us depend on the lure of the future state of affairs (FSA) to keep us motivated. But the reality is, it's much easier to stay stuck than it is to make a change even when making the change is attractive.  Change is hard. That's why there are so few really successful people - successful people make the real tough decisions quicker and more often. Don't gloss over this one  - dig deep in every corner to really look at what is not working with the current state of affairs that caused you to look at changing things up. We can often convince ourselves things are not really as bad as they seem. Now write.

Here's how Zoey, a seamstress with a storefront, answered the question when she was faced with the option to renew her lease.

I rushed into this lease without taking into account that the location wasn't perfect. The building is beautiful but there is no walk by traffic and it's difficult to get people into the store. The monthly bills are piling up and I'm regularly two months behind. In the months when I could be taking money out of my business, I have to worry about cash flow. I have always wanted to be in retail but this is very painful. I'm starting to resent the place. My husband doesn't get it - we took out a line of credit to start this business and we thought I would make more money here. When I was a home based business, I brought in a lot less money but I didn't have all these expenses. I don't like the bickering about money.

2. If you choose to make the change, what are you giving up?

There are benefits and burdens in both the CSA and the FSA. Dig deep and look at the benefit of not changing. There is a payoff. Take it out and look at it. This is why I love to journal. You can bull shite other people but you do not want to do it to yourself.  There's a reason you want things to stay they way they are. Get it down on paper. What is it that you feel you will have to let go of?

3. What is it about the FSA that is so attractive?

You've got this vision of what the future will look like if you take the leap. Paint a picture of how wildly attractive this can be. Let's say you made the decision. You're going for it. What is the IT that you're going for? Get detailed in this one. Leave nothing out.

4. What do you need to learn to make #3 happen?

Are you ready to roll? Do you need to take training? Do you need to stop doing that one thing that keeps you stuck? No one knows you like you know you. What do you need to learn to make it happen for you?

5. Make the decision. 

Congratulations!!! You're ready to make the decision. There are benefits and burdens in each decision - but you still have a decision to make. There's also work to be done to get over the middle space - the terrain between here to there. You won't mind doing what needs to be done when the decision is made. There's nothing as effective as a mind made up.

Now you try it. What decision are you putting off making?

Meet Debbie

Debbie Adams is the owner of PeopleCan Training in Lower Sackville, NS. She's legally blind but has a tremendous amount of vision in her business. She is a 3 time published author including the book Money Mindset as well as contributing author in Dreaming Big, Being Bold. Although she is a reluctant entrepreneur, she has won awards for entrepreneurship. She loves helping others move from misery to magic in Entrepreneurship. Debbie is originally from Newfoundland and she makes her home in Nova Scotia. 

Law of Attraction - it's for everyone but it sure does feel weird in the beginning!!

Photo by Emily Murphy

My world turned upside down in  2009, I went from frying pan to fire after 6 years of trying to make a better life. I was a mess as I sat there on the step watching the truck pull away with all of my belongings. I had sold my home. 

Truth was, I got served with a notice to foreclose in the morning and an offer to purchase in the afternoon which meant that they didn't foreclose. 

I sold my house because I couldn't afford to live there. Not because I wanted to upsize or downsize but because I hadn't paid my mortgage in months - I needed a new place to live. It was a shit year.

Someone had mentioned the Law of Attraction stuff to me. It sounded a lot like blaming the victim - "You're responsible for the world you're creating - you've brought this on yourself." That was a tough pill to swallow - vision loss, loss of career, failed marriage and eventually bankruptcy didn't feel like things that I had a ton of control over at the time. 

It took me two more years before I got into practising the universal laws of attraction full time. I needed to go down that tragic road a bit further before I decided that I had nothing to lose and a lot to learn.

Invited to listen to Nova Scotia's Own Eddie Lemoine speak about his new book "Bring About What You Think About" opened the door a crack. His own story of loss and reinvention and the role that a positive mindset played in his journey inspired me to want to learn more about the topic. Hard luck is relative - I didn't think that his bottom and my bottom had anything in common but he definitely took a hit or two in life. I liked the dude and so I decided I needed to know more about the concept. I started studying other people who were writing on this topic.

I read everything I could get my hands on about Law of Attraction. I started reading books by Joe Vitale, Napoleon Hill and listening to Norman Vincent Peale. I was in pain and nothing that I was doing was working so I felt that I had nothing to lose. 

It was tough but I was determined. I took baby steps - gave up complaining, took up gratitude even when there was nothing to be grateful for.  (Read my blog on how grateful I was that the cat pissed in the litter box ). It was a slow start at first but eventually I gained momentum. 

Truth was, it took a lot of energy to gain some traction. I limited my time with folks who would gossip and did a lot of journal work. I surrounded myself with people who had already enjoyed success with this new way of looking at things. Sometimes I was inspired. Other times I was jealous and frustrated by my own lack of progress but I didn't give up. I was a work in progress and I knew it took time.

Oh, the rest is history - but it isn't really history. I went from there to owning a business, writing 3 books, travelling to teach and now I'm here mentoring other entrepreneurs who want to learn this stuff. What seemed like foo foo in the beginning has turned into a staple in my life. 

Recently I had a setback - something I hadn't planned for that I would have considered a piece of bad luck in the past. I was pissed for about a day and then I reminded myself of how all of the bad luck that I have experienced have transformed into blessings. Yep!! You heard me say it. It is true and I'm sure that this event will also have value in my life. A different mindset helps  me to have a healthier attitude about setbacks. I've learned to put things into perspective and I will more quickly get back to healthy thinking. This is where the magic happens. 

Know what? What you focus on expands. It's so true!!! It isn't reserved for the chosen few. Just as the sun sets for each of us - this way of thinking is available to everyone. What are you focusing on?

Meet Debbie

Debbie Adams is the owner of PeopleCan Training in Lower Sackville, NS. She's legally blind but has a tremendous amount of the kind of vision that you need to be successful. She is a 3 time published author including the book Money Mindset as well as contributing author in Dreaming Big, Being Bold. Although she is a reluctant entrepreneur, she has won awards for entrepreneurship. She loves helping others move from misery to magic in Entrepreneurship. Debbie is originally from Newfoundland but makes her home in Nova Scotia. 

Website: www.peoplecan.ca

The Status Quo is Predictable. Making Tough Decisions.

I've got a tough decision to make this year. My lease is up on my building and I need to decide what my next steps are.  Will I sign for another 3 years here or move to a smaller location? It's a tough decision.

I understand the process of  decision making - I have coached hundreds of people in decision making - weighing the options - checking out the scenarios. What if you do? What if you don't? That's the easy part. I also understand why we get stuck in places that sap our energy.

Knowing how and doing it are two different things.

The status quo is often the easier choice because you don't have to do one thing and you're already there. I'm not saying that sticking with the way things are is the right choice but it is definitely the choice that takes the least amount of energy.

An object at rest tends to stay at rest. Change.......that takes work. You've got to actually do stuff. If I give up my space, I need to decide what to do with my furniture for example. Moving to a smaller space means I have work to do.

The status quo is predictable. In all likelihood - if you're at decision time you get it.

The easy choice is to let things remain the way they are - you've got this routine down pat. Not changing may not make you jump for joy but at least you don't have work to do.

But change and the uncertainty that comes with it, now that crap can freak you out.

When I fear getting tripped up in the fact that it takes energy to change, I pull out my pen and paper.

I journal about everything. I solve all problems by writing.

What's the current situation? What is it about staying that is not appealing? I start here because I know what's appealing about it. Let's take off the rose coloured glasses and look at why the status quo is not working. Then I absorb this information - get a real feel for it. No BS here - what don't you appreciate about the status quo? Don't hold back - get it all down on paper or record it so you can listen to what you're saying.

Then I look at the other side of things. If I do make the change, what can I look forward to? In my situation I look at the benefit of changing locations for example. I look at short term and long term benefits of change.

You will get a visceral reaction with both of these exercises.

Now it's decision time - to remain with the status quo or to change. If I decide to change then I have determined that the work is worth it. I've made one too many bad decisions in my life because I got stuck in looking at the energy it would take to change instead of looking at the benefit of changing.

There are benefits and burdens to every decision - try this exercise and see if it gets you closer to a decision. It works for me

EDIT - Pay attention to the feelings that come up as you write the list. How does each option FEEL. We often discount this valuable evaluation tool. Logical and Emotional Decision Making.

Periodic Pivots Etc.

I've taken a liking to the word PIVOT

Pivot: That thing that you do in business when plan A isn't working out.

I believe that pivoting makes good business sense. In the military we would often to a "recce" - a reconnaissance of an area that we were going to move into to see what resources we would need. Then we would move forward with Plan A.

Sometimes even the best laid plans aren't enough - unforeseen circumstances show up that 

make Plan A no longer appropriate. So we pivot - we change direction to get around the obstacle or scrap Plan A altogether and come up with a new plan.

Pivoting is a good thing in business. 

With one caveat....

don't let it be something you do because you're resisting the difficult stuff. There's no excuse for facing the reality that you're scared for example or that you need skills.

I know people who never gain traction in a business because every time it gets stressful, they pivot until all around them people are asking "What does he/she do?" That's not pivoting - that's confusion.

Where are you hanging onto something that needs to be let go of? Where have you fallen out of love with a process but you're sticking with it because you're worried about what others will think? 

Is it time to pivot? 

I'm grateful that the cat pissed in the litter box!!! It all started there.

When I first heard someone say "What you focus on expands." I was sceptical. I didn't quite believe it but at the same time they challenged me when they said " If you don't like what's happening in your life right now, what do you have to lose? Give it a try. 

I didn't like what was happening in my life so I did as suggested and decided to give 'er a go. 

I suspended my disbelief for a while and decided to be grateful.

My life was a shit storm - a series of unfortunate events as it were. A bankruptcy close on the heels of divorce, downsizing before I was ready, living below poverty with a ton of debt, a single mama who was continually a disappointment to my daughter and no real prospects for change. The thought of jumping out of bed, doing a few fast fist pumps while expressing gratitude seemed like a pack of...... 

But...

...what I was doing wasn't working. What did I have to lose? I eased into the new routine. 

Step one was writing in a journal as soon as I awoke. Those first thoughts of gratitude needed to get down on paper. The writing prompt.....

"I am grateful......"

I wrote the first thing that came to mind.

"I am grateful that the cat pissed in the litter box."

The rest of my life was a shit storm. I was putting all of my chips on that cat keeping this up. 

My mind kept wandering back to "what you focus on expands."

My mind wanted to wander back to the fact that I was avoiding my friends because I couldn't afford to buy a coffee and I had no money for the laundry machine in the new apartment - the one that I had to move into when I could no longer live in my house. Did I mention that I had a foreclosure notice on the same day that I got an offer? Phew!!! These things are not accidental - don't get me started about real estate agents with agendas. 

So here I was with my journal and it was a chore. I had one sentence. 

"I'm grateful that the cat pissed in the little box!!"

Then I drew a picture of the cat in the litter box. After all what you focus on expands. I didn't want to fall back into old patterns and if I looked up from the paper I might notice that I was drinking no name coffee and that would really piss me off.

So I drew the cat and then I started thinking about the lady at the bus stop who was telling me about her cat one day. She loved her cat - I didn't really get this. I was one of those mamas who purchased a cat because her kid liked cats - this woman cherished her cat. She would pull out her cell phone and show me pictures of this cat. That got me laughing. 

"I am grateful for belly laughs."

Of course, I stuck with it because if I didn't I might think about how I was legally 

blind and almost 50 without a pot to piss in so to speak. No job prospects 

in sight living in a place I detested.

There's a theme here - cats and piss.

That woman at the bus was weather beaten, she had been taking that same bus for more than 20 years to a minimum wage job. I thought about my life and how I had enjoyed so many 

magical experiences in the army and how blessed I was to not have had to do what she was doing. 

You're wondering where I'm going with this story? 

I seem to be meandering.....but it is going somewhere. I'm telling you that if you want a better life, you're going to have to control your thoughts. I have gone from the cat, the litter box to 

owning two businesses and wondering when my fourth book will come out. Yes, I

 did take many action steps in between then and now but it started with gratitude when I could hardly find a thing to be grateful for...

...except a cat pissing in the litter box. 

Moving from Alberta to Nova Scotia - it's bad enough I can't claim certain expenses related to the move and on top of that I owe a bucket of money to the government. Why don't they tell you this?

When you're considering a move back home, it's worth it to do a little research before choosing the date for the move. I learned this lesson the hard way when I moved back home after retiring from the army.

Joey  is a fictional character

Joey moved from Alberta to Nova Scotia in October of 2016. He purchased his first home in Nova Scotia in November and came to see me when it was time to do his income tax.

Apparently someone had told him that he could claim the costs related to the purchase of his new home. He wasn't pleased when I told him that this claim was only available to people who had sold a property at the old location.

He was irritated but we got over it. Sometimes there's a tendency for people to shoot the messenger but Joey was graceful.

That is....until I told him how much he would have to pay the government this year. Let's talk about provincial marginal tax rates.

Joey made  $130,000.00 in Alberta (between Jan - Oct).  Joey's employer collected tax based on the assumption that he would be filing taxes in Alberta which makes sense. But, when it comes time to do your taxes, the government expects your the taxes based on where you were residing on December 31st of that year.  On December 31st Joey was ringing in the new year in his new man cave in Nova Scotia - therefore, so Joey would be taxed at the Nova Scotia tax rate.

Nova Scotia 17.5%

Alberta 10 %

Joey was in for a shock - he wouldn't be getting that new boat this year. I get it! I get it! I get it Joey! I'd be pissed too. But I have to follow the law.

My advice to anyone considering a move, be strategic about the date.  Check your marginal tax rates, hold off and move in the new year if it is more beneficial to do so!!! Sometimes we have no control over this but at least you can do a little planning. 

Joey just called to make an appointment to get his 2017 taxes done - I'm glad he realizes that I don't make the rules.

"When someone is honest - thank them for the gift."

Even though the big gurus talk about the 360 analysis and how important it is that we get feedback from the people around us, the reality is that we all love the positive feedback but...

who wants to hear that they're not doing so hot and that other people can see our flaws?

No one - not me, not you, not the guy who has parsley stuck in his teeth.

And about the guy with parsley, most people won't even tell him that it's there or that he has toilet paper on his shoe. Folks would rather let you go around looking stupid than tell you the truth and run the risk of you not liking them. 

I can hear some of you right now saying "I would tell you if you had parsley in your teeth!!" Ok, I'll give you that but would you tell your best friend that there is no market for her products or that she isn't a great yoga instructor? Would you tell them that they can't manage people or that the staff are laughing at them behind their back? Would you want someone to tell  you all of this if it were you?

Having a tough hide in business isn't optional.  If we don't start asking for feedback from others and accepting the feedback that they are offering, we are going to be waiting too long to become profitable if it happens at all. If we only seek out the compliments and continue to ignore the tough lessons, we won't be in business for very long. When someone with a good heart offers you an opinion about what they see, don't ignore it. There could be some truth in that advice. 

My first attempt at business - teaching women how to manage the power centres of the non-traditional world, was a flop. I had a course that was only half baked, had no real idea how to sell to corporations and had barriers to success that I was in denial about. Instead I walked around as if I was ready to go when that contract arrived. Truth was, I had no idea what I didn't know until I hired my first coach. 

I had a good person in my life who wasn't afraid to tell me what I needed to hear. I listened when she told me that I was never going to sell one of my programs unless I learned how to market correctly and if the course wasn't ready to go, no one would want to purchase it. It was one of the toughest things I have ever had to listen to. But I did listen - went out and got certified as an adult educator and hired a coach to help me market my services. I was a little peeved at Sherri but truth is, I needed to hear this. 

I got over it!!!

If you're not having the results you are expecting in your business, take a giant leap. Ask someone in your circle whom you trust and respect to give you some honest feedback. Ask more than one person to see if others feel the same way as well. Call it market research or call it common sense. If you're not gaining any traction in your business - it might just be YOU!!! Are you ready for that?

Save time and money - market to the ideal client.

Imagine someone trying to sell you something that you are not in the market for. Recently someone tried to sell me a cutting board. I wasn't in the market for a cutting board but that person continued to tell me all about the features and benefits including a big spiel on charcuterie boards. It was extremely annoying. Almost as annoying as the time someone tried to sell me a $2000 set of pots and pans - me, who hardly ever cooks and who understands the importance of knowing your client. 

Contrast that with my experience today when someone offered me a sample of hand cream. I have dry skin and love a great hand cream that can get me through the long dry winter.  Sell me hand cream; sell me a great training business coaching program - I'm a knowledge addict and I'm always investing in my craft. These are my values - we always purchase those things that we value.

Know your client.

If you're selling a luxury item, you need clients who have the disposable income to be able to pay for them. That's a given.  They also have to link with what they value. Don't try and sell and all inclusive to someone who values time at the cottage. 

If you're selling a holistic product, it's an easier process if you don't have to first define the term holistic. Let's say for example, you're selling the option to learn more about the Ayurvedic Food Lifestyle, I know right away that selling to a meat and potatoes guy is not your best bet. Reason being, you have to first convince him that altering his food choice is necessary.  That is a labour intensive sell. 

I like to say I did it wrong before I learned to do it right. In the early days, I thought my business coaching was designed for "all business people" but I've changed my mind about that over time. 

 Generally speaking my 3 month coaching product is best suited to someone who is interested in making six figures. That person must be already hustling at that level and have the means to pay for the program. That person is highly motivated and has the means.

I generally don't waste time marketing that product to new entrepreneurs but I do "plant seeds" so that when they are ready to scale they will consider me. I also don't market to those folks who don't feel a certain urgency to make the money. Although I don't always just coach the primary breadwinner, the people I coach like a good lifestyle and their contribution to the family income is substantial. 

When there was a downturn in the economy in Alberta, a lot of men were laid off in Eastern Canada - men who had been given a taste of the good life; men who were attached to their toys and men who wanted to quickly bring their income level up to the 100K+ level real quick. 

Finding a J O B in Atlantic Canada wasn't going to do it for them. I saw this as an opportunity. I put on an info session as a way to market my program and only invited men who fit this category. 

These men had big lifestyles, golfed regularly, had big trucks, skidoos, cottages and .... they were determined to hang onto this lifestyle. 

Getting back to the Ayurvedic Food Lifestyle, wouldn't you be closer to a sale if you spoke with people who already had an understanding of Eastern options? I'm assuming that this person needs to have a bit more disposable income than those of us who have Kraft Dinner regularly. This person should also have health and well being high on the priority list. Would this person likely be at a Yoga Studio? Or using alternative medicine like accupuncture. I see open minded written all over this. Where do you find open minded people? What are some of their habits?

This gets me into a chat about cross marketing so I will end here. But think about it - it's much easier to sell to the ideal client - the person who is waiting for the solution you are delivering.