Men have been doing this for centuries.

Having someone say "You're like a man." isn't a bad thing unless of course they're referring to your face hair. 

This is exactly what a man said to me this week - I have learned over time that it is best not to react to odd statements. Instead I asked whether he wanted to chat about this a bit. and we did.

I knew he didn't mean it as an insult even though at first glance, it could be taken as one. I knew this because he is someone that I respect quite a bit and I know that he respects me - so we had THE TALK.

1. LEARNING ON THE FLY

Apparently for years the entrepreneurial space was dominated by men and they had certain characteristics that helped them to fast track success. For example, there is this tendency for men to jump in with both feet without having all the ducks lined up. Apparently this is something that women aren't known for. I hate to speak in broad terms or "extrapolate from a sample of one" but I have noticed that women do procrastinate more before taking action. Maybe I learned to "act like a man" from all of the years that I worked with men in the army - I do have a reputation for learning on the fly. Personally, I think that this is the way we need to roll in business - course correcting as we go as opposed to playing it too safe. 

Don't get me wrong or read into this more than there is - it's great to be prepared but there comes a time when you must take the plunge. Done is better than perfect folks. 

2. CHANGING THE SCOPE MEANS CHANGING THE PRICE

Ever had one of those contracts that changes halfway through? It's fair to say that we don't know what we don't know. We can get into a project and have the client want things done differently as time goes on. When this happens in business "when the scope changes" halfway through, you need to get the parties back to the drawing board and look at the cost again. When the scope changes, the hard (and soft) costs often change and that means that the price has to change. I have this discussion early with clients. That way it comes as no surprise when the time comes to up the price. This ensures that the client gets the value they were promised while I get paid what my service is worth. 

We discussed many other examples including things like the tendency for women to charge the right price and then throw in so many extras that they watered down the price and value. This looks like hidden money mindset issues. 

Apparently there are variations in how men and women do business. I have a few pretty savvy business women in my corner who are just like me so I hadn't noticed until he mentioned it.

So here's the upshot - I told him that I didn't think that I was acting like a man as much as I was behaving like a business woman who took this gig seriously. What about you? How do you act? 

A Few Words to Support You When Your Mind is Made Up About Leaving

It's never an easy decision to leave a bad situation. Whether it's a job you hate, a career that saps the life out of you, a business partnership or a marriage, it takes a tremendous amount of courage to walk away. 

In all likelihood, you have invested a lot into trying to make this work. You've put your heart and soul into building this thing only to get to this point. I have been where you are and I know it's not an easy decision. I suspect you have gotten this point before but chickened out at the last minute. That's your truth isn't it? 

But this time it's different. This time, you're not turning back. You're going to let your feet take you where your heart already is. Now that you've made the decision - run as fast as you can. There's nothing more energetic than a mind made up. 

Women don't make these decisions flippantly. Putting our needs first is not something we have done well. I know you have thought long and real hard about how everyone will be impacted by this decision and you've decided that staying will be worse. Is that where you are? 

Here's the deal - if the present state of affairs is not life affirming,  you need to go. If your inner spiritual resources are depleted with every day that you wake up in this same job, same relationship or same boat, it's time to go.  If you believe you have done all that you can do and something must change then....

BE THE CHANGE

You have wings to fly. We are born to live a joyful life!!! We all have an opportunity to live a rich and rewarding life that inspires us. You know when it's time to take the leap. You thought you would save a bit of money and leave when you were in a better position but when the extra money comes along, you spend it. By the time the kids are grown or your responsibility lightens, you'll be so used to pushing your yearning down, that you won't even feel the need. The time has come. 

You're not alone - many of us have taken that leap and never looked back. Once you start caring about you, magic happens. 

Breathe........

Play and Have Fun in the Middle of a Crapstorm

Creativity requires us to be positive and to create some pretty awesome and optimistic energy.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that but it isn't easy to remain positive when everything around you is going to crap. Have you ever had one of those 3 year runs of bad luck? It's around then that you start to think that the law of attraction has a flaw? N'est-ce pas? Well - if what you're doing is not working so well why not try something different?

Here are my top 3 tips for remaining focused especially when you're in the eye of a crapstorm. 

1. Avoid negativity. That includes the people who can get you into full on gossip mode. When things go wrong you're vulnerable to all kinds of trolls. Have you heard of "a shoe in the door" as a psychological concept? In sales it refers to selling something small and then up selling something larger. But in negative thinking, it works like this. You complain a little bit today. After all it makes you feel good to be part of the group. Next thing you know your house is the meeting place for every naysayer around. Don't start - you need those creative juices cloaked in positivity. There's no benefit in negativity even if it does make you feel good for a minute. 

2. Seek out 10 people that you know who are resourceful Ask them to give you half hour of their time. Tell them what your problem is and ask if they have some suggestions for how you might tackle it. Sometimes in the middle of a crap storm we get a little emotional. We may not think straight. Likely, these folks can help you to remain objective and see light where you may not. 

3. Play. Yes, you heard it here first. Get away from all the worry and grief and put yourself out there. Seek out an organization that needs volunteers and get involved. It will not only increase your network but it has other benefits. It gets your mind off your troubles which frees up space for the universe to deliver solutions. It increases your network of peeps which is always good and you will have fun and when you have fun you feel good. Feeling good is what is needed right now.

Your problems will still be there when you get back - let them go for a minute. 

Get Your Ass Around That Corner

We have all seen this pic - we only need to see the next turn in the road, right? That all sounds lovely on camera but the reality is, we are scared spitless to take that turn. Most of us spend far too long waiting for some poor guy to come back and tell us what is going to greet us when we get around that turn. 

The truth is, most folks are so afraid to make the turn that they justify it with "better a devil you know than one you don't".  I know this because for a long time that's what I would do.

What I've learned is that the status quo gets your nowhere. What's around the corner is exactly what you need to move forward. There may be any number of corners. I'd be more concerned that you're stuck looking at the same landscape all your life and missing the bigger picture called living. 

So get up there and get your ass around that turn. It's amazing. 

First, Best or Different

I’m not a wine drinker but you can bet your bottom dollar I said yes to a chance to visit Luckett Vineyards. And what a fantastic experience it was. Pete Luckett knows business and I enjoyed having a brief chat with him, and watching him roll up his sleeves and get his hands in there. It was interesting because, from my experience with business folk, there are a few things that separate the successful people from those who are flash-in-a-pans. One of those things is a willingness to get your hands dirty. That’s not to say that when things are better, you don’t outsource some of the work. But a real willingness to be seen as human can go a long way to earning respect.

At one point, Pete stopped by our table with a smile on his face and a story to tell. I boldly asked for one piece of sage advice. “Are you ready?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye. Not one to be outdone in the charm department, I responded, “I am a Newfoundlander. I was born ready.”

“Be the first, be the best, or be different.” That’s it. The key to success. You heard it from the man.