When I feel frazzled, I write...

I've been writing for more than 50 years - as long as I can remember, I've put crayon to paper (not the pack of 64 that the guy sitting next to me had). We're talking little inch long nibs of crayon that I had to peel the paper off of first. Then I put lead to paper - sharpened with a pocket knife, edges uneven.

Then I put pen to paper and later on that turned into finger to key

...all in an effort to get my thoughts out there.

I'm not all that strategic with my blog - there's a ton of advice around getting people to sign up and have it delivered to their inbox - that would take too much work. I guess I write for me and when I do, it's a little more authentic but it always strikes a cord with a reader so that must count for something.

I've had the best conversations with people as a result of something that I have written. So I guess that when I'm asked whether my blog is working for me, the answer is - ya, of course it is.

Self care has been front of mind for me lately because I have been feeling a little frazzled. I find that when this happens, I also notice that others are feeling the same way. I'll come across a tweet for example about overwhelm and it jumps out. It's the universe holding a mirror up for me.

Writing has been my go to tool for self care and lately I haven't been writing as much. I purchased a nice calligraphy pen lately - mindful writing there especially for a beginner.

I'm curious, what do you do for self care? 

Is shame holding you back?

The vantage point changes with time. I would call 2006 a traumatic year. It was the year I was charged with Intellectual Dishonesty at Law School, the year I lost my voice and couldn't self advocate and it was the year I asked myself the big question "Who am I?"

When I would recall that event over the next few years I would cringe. A mixture of shame and disappointment in the early days were quickly replaced with something of value. The disaster became the springboard for a new direction in life.

Shame was replaced with understanding what came before, the role of various actors and my own inability to process a disability that I had not come to terms with.

We can get stuck in these places. If a past event is nipping you in the rear, here's what worked for me.

1. Share your story with someone who will help you to process. It can be a coach or a counsellor. Believe me, processing helps to put past disappointments into perspective.

2. Surround yourself with imperfect people - they will love you in spite of.

3. Forgive yourself, the others involved. Find a way to make that happen - grudges hold you back.

Live the life you're given without regret.

2 Pieces of Advice From the Sages

The tax business is not a numbers business as much as it is a people business. During the season I get a chance to speak with a lot of folks and share many personal stories. I asked some of the more successful business folks what tips they could offer that were not of a business nature.  This is what they shared. (Names have been changed to protect identities and stories shared with permission.)

#1 Self Care is Key

"I didn't start taking care of myself until after I had my first heart attack." Grant says. "What a wake up call. The only thing I had in life was work."

Take time out of your busy schedule for self care. Self care means different things to different people. For some, it may mean a little pampering and primping built into a busy schedule or working out at the gym. 

For others it may be a night out on the town. 

For me it means time away from technology with a combination of pampering, nature and lots of laughs. Whatever it means for you, there is consensus that it matters more than you may think. Self care renews initiative and gives you that much needed break from business that is just what the doctor ordered. 

#2 Remember the People Who Matter

Harvey tearfully told me that his one regret was that he wasn't available when his children were small. "You don't get those days back." 

I've heard this before. You never regret not getting that big deal as much as you regret not being there when your son or daughter scored that goal. 

Carve out time for the people who matter most. Make them a priority early on. 

I love learning from the folks in my life who generously share their lessons. I will take these two suggestions to heart.