3 Ways to Resist Overspending

Holy cow!!! That is the expression that folks have when they first start making the big bucks. Right on the heels of that remark is the urge to purchase the next new shiny object. It could be a bigger house or car. It could be the latest toy. That urge to rush out and spend is strong in folks who are new to making good money. Here are three tips that I find worked for me. 

1. Stop Self-Sabotaging. Running out and purchasing the latest model 4 wheeler or that 70,000.00 truck isn't going to get you where you need to be. It's actually going to take you away from your goal. Recognize the urge for the villain it is. I am, of course, assuming that you have goals.

2. Phone a Friend: Have an accountability partner. Give them a ring. Tell them what you're planning to do. If you find yourself not wanting to share - listen to your inner voice. Are you reluctant to tell because you know it's a bad choice?

3. Turn on the Delay Switch: That's right. The delay - the space between the emotional urge to spend and the decision to spend. Promise yourself you won't buy anything for 30 days after you get the means to do so. You may change your mind in that time period. 

You don't need to reinvent the wheel. You're not the first person to experience the joy and pain of the boom and bust. 

Notes on Law of Attraction Trauma and Grief

What I know to be true is that the Laws of Attraction are solid. We really do have control over the life that we want.

The law has a flaw in that it assumes that we are all in the same place - we can just engage our positive thinking and move forward.

Not the case. For those of us who have had less than charmed lives, who have suffered layers of trauma, who have unprocessed grief, more is required.

I know it to be true - because it is my story. I couldn't engage the tenets of the law of attraction until I dealt with what had hold of me - unprocessed grief. This took a professional. No amount of wishful thinking or "a lie in transition to becoming a truth" could help me with that. I needed help from the pros and I go that help.

***Good News*** That help puts you right back in the game of life.

Upshot - get help if you need it. Don't miss out on a great life!!!!

Christmas - Keeping it Real

I love the holiday season for a number of reasons - the one that is top of mind for me is that my daughter comes home from university. But hear me out - young adults are developing their own traditions and I may have to make a reservation to get to spend any real time with her. That's just the plain truth.

Have you looked at social media lately? It is overflowing with examples of people being charitable on a large scale and a real trend toward advertising it. This can put a ton of stress on people to try and do what they do not have the means to do. Know this, there are many people out there who live lives of service who never post a single thing about it. Avoid the trap of trying to measure up.

What about the food? No one enjoys food as much as I do but I am not a person for pomp and circumstance.  My Red-neck roots always get the better of me here. I love to have a crowd in but not much for the rules and conventions around dining that some folks encourage. My grandmother would put a tray of sweets out at Christmas and have to crack my fingers more than once for trying to steal a cook before the crowd arrived. People remember how you made them feel - not whether you had the correct fork.

Here's what I suggest - put it all into perspective. Use your heart and make that heart an instrument of good will "without advertising". Do what you need to do to make it special for you - without worrying about what the Jones' are doing. Keep it real and find time to really enjoy it in spite of or maybe because of the humbleness. .

Speaking of Company...

Who do you have in your corner? Business is a bizarre beast. It requires us to build relationships even if our personality is such that we would prefer to be alone.

During a sales workshop with Rocky Lake Crossfit, we talked about how nice it would be if we were all in a position to hire a professional sales team. But let's face it, in the early days we have to wear many hats, and some of those hats we may not be fond of. Learning to get out there and connect is not such a bad thing, is it?

The other company that matters is peer support. Do you have peeps in your corner that you can turn to when life is tough? Do you have folks around you who know more than you do – so that you can reach out to them on a tough day? If not, get out there and make it happen. Who you network with makes all the difference in the world.

Business is all about the company you keep. (click to tweet this)

You're Exactly Where You're Supposed to Be

I can recall the first time I ever heard that quote "You're exactly where you're supposed to be." which I believe was attributable to Mother Thresa. Sitting on the step, waiting for a truck to load my furniture I was reading a book of inspirational quotes. Forced to sell my home where my daughter and I had shared so many happy memories made for a heartbreaking day.

At that moment, messages that were intended to inspire had a way of irritating me. "Really Thresa, is that what you think?"

Hindsight is 20/20. Fast forward 7 years and I can look back on that difficult time and see the lesson in the whole experience and the quote has taken on new meaning.

That experience taught me so many lessons - lessons about living beyond my means, asking for help and accepting myself for who I was. I won't wax eloquently about those here.

The point is to know that timing is everything when a message is delivered. I think every quote should come with a bit of preamble.

"You may not get it now but....you're exactly where you're supposed to be." Even you.

Embrace your Grief

I was in a group a couple of years back and they were talking about grief. The gist of the conversation was that grief is not linear; there are cycles of grief in life - no two people grieve the same. Even though books have been written about the stages of grief, it is generally accepted that these stages don't really follow a set pattern either. Some grieve quickly and move on but most, grieve across the lifespan and you never know when it may hit you.

I'm grieving today. Not for a person but for a lifestyle. Losing my drivers' license really impacted my lifestyle. The life I have today is one that I tolerate but not the one I want.

I was bored when I awoke this morning. When I'm bored, I want to hop in my car and crank up those tunes - the soundtrack from "Chariots of Fire" brings back memories. I want to drive and arrive at some obscure location to explore. I want to do that alone.

But I can't and so I cried instead for a lifestyle taken away too early. For all of you rescuers out there who want to offer up solutions for how to solve this problem, don't bother. Just let me grieve - tomorrow is another day and I will be just fine.

For all you grievers out there, honour your grief. It's the only thing to do.

Greenback Only - Show me the Money

This has been one of those months where every conversation has been about money. Nowhere was this more pronounced than when we were charged 1.35 to purchase some US green!! 

Phew!! that was brutal.

During our talks on income tax matters, it was agreed that we all detest paying taxes.  Hiring a professional to do your taxes makes good sense because frankly, there are too many nuances for untrained people to rely on off the shelf software. Point blank. I love talking about money since I've become reformed. 

Yes, you heard it here first. I used to have a poverty mindset that came about as a result of many things including the way that I was raised. How liberating to be free from the worst of it (although there are always areas where we need to be on the lookout). I'm excited about money; making it, saving it and teaching it. 

Financial literacy, the new focus for 2016. Sharing what I know. Here's the deal.

1. There is life after bankruptcy if you have a plan.

2. If you have money issues, deal with them!! You'll be glad you did.

3. If you failed at business once because you didn't manage the financial back end well, no biggie. Try again. But make sure you've learned the lesson. If you haven't then don't bother. 

Past behaviour is a good predictor of future behaviour unless there is an intervening measure like learning a lesson. 

You heard it here folks from the lady who did it all wrong before she learned to do it right. Money is good and fun and you're never too old to learn all about it. Make today the day that you start to invest in your own financial literacy. 

3 Tips for Remaining Focused During Change

You know it - mindset matters when we decide to make a change. Change is never easy. If it were, everyone would be doing it - right? So how do you remain focused before you  have seen any real evidence of success? Here are 3 tips that work for me: 

1. Limit your time with people who will allow you to have too many pity parties. Once you start down the poor me path, it's not long before it starts to cloud your judgement. All of a sudden you're back in a dark hole and can't even think of a way out.

2. Associate with like minded people.  It can get pretty lonely out there when you decide to make a shift in life. You're going to have tough times - you're going to face resistance. Find a new team to help cheer you on. Those closest to you may not be your best support system and that's a tough pill to swallow. But it's true. Find yourself some cheerleaders.

3. Practice mindfulness. There are so many ways to do that and you  have to find one that works for you. You're training your mind to work a new way - to believe before there is any evidence to support that belief takes faith. Mindfulness is key. 

Change takes focus and a strong mind  - these tips will help with that. 

Canada Votes 2015

The results are in and we have a strong majority. Personally, I have mixed emotions.

No doubt, it was time for a change of leadership. We achieved this result - the people have spoken.

I'm sad to see iconic figure Peter Stoffer leave The House - he has fought long and hard for our area and for veterans in particular. He has been with us since 1997. I've had many opportunities over the years to refer clients and to call upon him myself to resolve issues that were unjust. Peter has always responded with a personal call and a commitment to help resolve the issue. I  know that he leaves big shoes to fill.

I'm a fan of minority governments because they often offer an opportunity for dialogue - although that's not always the case. Mr. Trudeau has a strong majority and I for one can't wait to see what that will bring. If he follows in his father's footsteps, we may be entertained along the way.

We start a new chapter - one that I hope is filled with fairness and a return to the identity that we enjoy as Canadians. Canada, after all, has spoken.

Is Your Head in the Sand When it Comes to Finances?

In a course recently I asked everyone, "Are you meeting your targets?" I could tell by the reactions that they weren't. As a recovering ostrich, I knew full well where they were coming from. I never knew what my revenues were until tax time. I say 'knew' because I learned some time ago there is a positive relationship between tracking your numbers and profit.

We're in the final quarter of the year for sole proprietors. No sense looking back!! You cannot undo the past. Don't beat yourself up - leave that for the trolls. When we know better, we do better. We can, though, implement best practices moving forward.

Don't let June 15th (tax time) be the first time you have a look at your revenues. Here's my challenge to you: use these next 10 weeks wisely. Set aside some time and develop a mini-strategy to end the year. Start today to run your business like a business.

Not Always Easy to be Grateful

Thanksgiving - all over the internet today we will see one story after another about the wonderful lives that people have and the things that they are grateful for. It's good to be grateful.

It's easy to appreciate the new car that your parents gave you for your 18th birthday or the beautiful neighbours who always send you a plate of dinner when they are cooking a big meal - that gratitude is common sense gratitude but what about the tough gratitude?

How much time do you spend being grateful for either the tough things that show up in your life or for the things that you take for granted.

Set aside some time to honour the not so obvious things that you have to be grateful for. What about that tough and painful mistake that you made that resulted in you being totally humiliated? Not easy but there was benefit in that mistake that churned to the surface once you processed it. Can you remember a time when you envied another person because they had more than you did? There is benefit in humble living.

I look back on my life and think of all the skills I learned because not everything was handed to me on a platter. We didn't have everything we wanted or needed as children but we learned how to work hard and I'm grateful for that.

Although I complain about being forced to take the bus, I appreciate the people I have met on my travels who opened my eyes to the blessings I do enjoy. I'm grateful for that lesson.

Today - take a moment and reflect on the things that you take for granted and you will notice that you really do have so much more to be grateful for than you can name in one day.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Get Your Ass Around That Corner

We have all seen this pic - we only need to see the next turn in the road, right? That all sounds lovely on camera but the reality is, we are scared spitless to take that turn. Most of us spend far too long waiting for some poor guy to come back and tell us what is going to greet us when we get around that turn. 

The truth is, most folks are so afraid to make the turn that they justify it with "better a devil you know than one you don't".  I know this because for a long time that's what I would do.

What I've learned is that the status quo gets your nowhere. What's around the corner is exactly what you need to move forward. There may be any number of corners. I'd be more concerned that you're stuck looking at the same landscape all your life and missing the bigger picture called living. 

So get up there and get your ass around that turn. It's amazing. 

Cul-de-sac

Seth Godin describes a cul-de-sac, in his book The Dip, as a place where "you work and you work and you work and nothing much changes".  For me that was around 4 years ago. I went into business because I couldn't find work and was trying to figure out what I could teach. Recently divorced, I wrote a book on dating and held some workshops on meeting someone new.

My heart wasn't in it at all. It didn't go anywhere. There's no comparison between the passion I have for the work that I do now and how I felt back then. I was in a different space - a cul-de-sac. It was a waste of time and money - we can't undo it. Next time, walk away sooner - Thanks Seth for reminding me.

A Business About-face

Sylvia shows up one day and asks if I can do her husband's income taxes. After a bit of conversation, it became obvious why he wanted to give up his business and go back to work at his old job. Sylvia also disclosed that by the time she knew what was happening, she felt it was too late to turn the company around.

I like taking on these cases because on a good day, I not only handle the taxes and get the family on board with CRA, but I can help the client continue their journey as a business owner. I love being in business for myself, but it would be a nightmare with a financial dead weight hanging over me. Bad accounting habits by business owners along the way will get them into hot water. Incorporating a few skills and new processes into your daily practise can make every year an easier one.

I've learned from the school of hard knocks. My own personal bankruptcy gives me the right to claim the status 'Subject Matter Expert' about how not to do it. I feel an affinity for folks who have gone down that road and I love showing them how to get back on track with their finances.

Why did Sylvia’s husband end up in this predicament? There were a number of reasons for why the business fell into decline, including pricing the product too low in the good times, going after the 'fast' cash (such as doing jobs that generated income under the table), not keeping on top of the financial accounting aspect of the business, and not including the family in the business decisions from day one. All of these mistakes can be boiled down into one crucial element: not understanding cash flow within the business.

We have two programs rolling out that will help with this type of situation. The Buck Stops Here is all about taking control of personal finances and Business Boot Camp is filled with nuggets about the habits of successful business owners.

If your story is anything like Sylvia's, call me. It's never too late to put some processes in place that will help your business.

We Love Hard Work

It may be a long weekend but some of us are working anyhow. It's been an awesome week with everything falling into place at the office. We had our first coaching session there in the midst of a mess but it went well. I am really looking forward to Sep 22nd.

This week I've had some wonderful conversations with a group of people who have all had to become business people to make ends meet. The learning curve, the pain, the joy and the raw honesty and emotion was inspiring.

What owning a business does for people like us - folks who find great value in working hard is it gives us a purpose and a sense that we are contributing. I'm feeling so blessed these days. We all shamelessly admit that we love hard work. I come from a family of hard workers - it's in my jeans and my genes.

Morning Ritual - Start with the End in Mind

Do you have a morning ritual? Morning rituals get your day off to the right start.

After a meditation, I grab a coffee and a piece of art paper and some coloured markers. I imagine myself at the end of my day looking back over the day. In the centre of the paper, I write "It was a fantastic day.

I change colours often as I write what it is that made my day fantastic. Like tentacles on an octopus my paper becomes filled with things that I have accomplished today. Your list will look different than my list.Then I get up and I get 'er done. What kind of day will you have today?

Tool Talk

I love visiting women in trades to talk about what is trending in the industry. As non-traditional women, we have always needed an extra drawer in our toolboxes, not just to carry our unmentionables and lipstick, but what about the tools that you can’t see? We chatted about this with the Sisters in the Brotherhood at the Carpenters and Millrights College in Lower Sackville recently.

In an industry that is ripe with opportunities for conflict, the ability to communicate well is a staple. The better communicator will often be hired first. The better communicator can nip a potential disaster in the bud. If you’re at a loss as to how to start to develop this skill, check out your local Toastmasters Club. There is probably one in your area.

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

I remember the first time I was in a workshop and we were given a mirror and introduced to 'mirror work'. The old me, the one who was more of a black and white thinker, couldn’t help but wonder what this hocus pocus was all about.

At the time, the focus was on loving our body and we were asked to look into the mirror and repeat the phrase, “I love my body.” I cringed in the beginning, but over time I learned that our reality is created from our beliefs and this work was going to take me where I needed to be. I just needed to suspend my disbelief for a moment.

Nowhere do I see this same resistance in others as powerful as when I ask them to say, “I love making money.” It is almost as if I am asking them to say a dirty word.

I get responses like, “I don’t do what I do for the money,” and “My work is heart centred.” I recognize these phrases because 6 years ago I was in the same boat. I, too, was challenged to think differently and I, too, resisted. But that has all changed. Monetizing what we do doesn’t mean that we leave our heart at home. It just means that we have more balance in our lives.

Money allows us to do a tremendous amount of good in the world. We can feed our families and, for those of us who are the primary breadwinner, that matters. We can give to charities or set up scholarships at local learning institutes. Money makes many good things possible.

Grab a mirror, look into your eyes, and say, "I love making money." How do you feel?

Where will you go today?

 Many years ago I was introduced to the music of  the lovely Laura Smith, Nova Scotia talent. the lyrics of one song in particular has stuck with me and I often find myself humming the tune. "I go there, I go there to find stillness when the wind might blow me away." Of course the place that she was referring to was a place where she went in her mind not an actual physical location. 

I had a lovely discussion this morning with a very interesting person I am getting to know and we talked about how important it is that "we go there" when we want to create something new in our lives. It isn't just the logical choices that we need to make - get out there and sell a product, write a good report, etc., success also requires us to go places in our mind to pave the way for the journey.

What you think matters as much as what you do.

Where will you go today? "There's a place that I go, not for pleasure, not for show. I find comfort there."

The Middle Passage - Answering the Call

It was one of those months where people show up in your life because the encounter is supposed to happen. Some may say it's hocus pocus but I happen to believe that there is so much about life we do not understand.

As a woman who has questioned her sanity a time or two, heard the call for change, took the leap and got a toehold on the other side, I love looking back to holler at the sisters and brothers who are faced with what James Hollis refers to as the middle passage. Change can be so frightening but the reality is, it can also be rather fantastic.

Here's a few tips I learned on the journey and we've only just begun:

1. Letting go is key. This time of flux can make us question our own sanity. Part of the reason is because we love to be in control of our lives and change is all about letting go. But we have to freefall a bit to get to that new place. Let go!
2. You will make new friends. There are benefits and burdens associated with all change. Not everyone will support your decision to change or like the new you. You will make new friends and your old friends will have their own transition. The ones that are important will be with you in the new life. This change is natural. You're not supposed to hold on so tight that you can't grow. So let go!!
3. You will amaze yourself. You can do so much more than you ever imagined. We grow across our lifespans. Once you stop fearing change and actually embrace it as a necessary part of life, your life will be amazing again. So let go!!!

No matter what put you in this situation, know this - only you can take you to the next level.