The title of this post is kind of telling - it isn't your ability to dream that helps you to create a better life. It's your ability to dream and expect the things that you desire. That's been my learning curve and the lesson that I needed so desperately to embrace. I had the dreaming down pat long before I learned to manage my expectations.
At the worse point in my life, someone spoke those words at a seminar - the life that you have is the life that you are expecting. To say I was pissed was an understatement. I was in the midst of one of the worse days of my life. My home that I cherished had been on the market 8 months - I was behind on payments and even though I had equity in the home, I had no way of accessing the equity because my income was too low. I was living on a fixed income disability pension. (Some might say I didn't know the right broker - topic for another day) :).
One day someone knocked at the door and when I answered the door - there was a gentleman standing there with registered mail. I had to sign for the dreaded letter - it was a notice from the lawyers informing me that they were going to foreclose on the mortgage. It was a soft landing - I hadn't run from my debt. I knew that this was the next step for me. Every day I hoped that the home would sell.
That same day, I got a call from the realtor that we had an offer on the house. Needless to say, we stalled the foreclosure and went ahead with the sale - I took a big hit on that sale because I was vulnerable and not making decisions from a position of strength. It would take a long time to realise the blessing hidden in this mess - many months later, I did eventually go bankrupt but there was no house included in the bankruptcy and for anyone who understands that industry, that makes a world of difference.
I landed in a pretty scary place - no home, no job and no prospects. I was literally dependent on someone's kind heart to help me out. It was a very low point in my life. At a seminar I was given tickets to, I heard this powerful message that really annoyed me at the time. The life you have is the one you believe you can have. Grrrrrrrrr - really?
It took me quite some time before I could appreciate this lesson. I've put enough distance between me and that terrible time to be able to reflect and I can see the wisdom in that statement now. I was struggling with high anxiety at the time - a real fear that I was going to be living in a cardboard box somewhere or dependent on others to get by in life. It was bad enough that I was visually impaired but I really didn't believe that I could create a better life. I was feeling about as low as I had ever been. Like they say - I had nowhere to go but up and I had tough lessons yet to learn.
I spent a lot of time working on the skills that it takes to unleash the creative powers that we all have. It's not an easy task - I took every course imaginable. If there was even a hint that I was creating this mess - someone please show me the way out. I begged the universe to show me how to become a believer when everything around me was not affirming the life I wanted.
The law of attraction depends on three things that have to be in alignment - our thoughts (dream a big dream) and our feelings (this is where belief comes in after all you're not getting fired up if you don't belief your dream can come true) and actions (in alignment with the dreams).
I had a vision board back then with some pretty impressive images on there but I didn't get excited when I looked at that board. Actually, more often than not, the thought that came up was "how do you go from here to there?" I wanted to know "how" but every book I read and every lesson I learned told me that I didn't need to know how. I just needed to get fired up about the good life.
Back them my EXPECTATIONS were low - I was stuck in this pity party but I kept going. If there was a lesson to learn I was going to learn it and I am so glad I did. Now I don't need to know how. I still have days where I stress but once we get rid of bad habits like complaining, it's hard to go back there for extended periods. I also have an accountability partner, a network of people who operate like I do, someone to kick me in the arse on the bad days - oh yes, there will be bad days.
What are you expecting in life? I don't mean what do you dream about - what are you expecting to happen? Really? Deep down? When you expect something to happen it gets you fired up with a knowing that it's coming toward you as quickly as you take action toward it. Don't lie to yourself if you're expectation is not there yet. Work on the skill of a disciplined mind - letting go of the how and working on the things that you need to work on to become the person who can sustain that dream.
It isn't enough to dream of a better life, you have to believe it will happen and only then take the right action.
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